Love, Hate, Up, Down

Its a goooooooood day today! Sorry for being too emotional few days ago, I was so stress organizing last session of training for 16 new staffs which ended yesterday. Pack schedule, amendments here and there, slides keep changing from time to time padahal hari training dah tak lama. Prepare the decentralized trainers for role play. Went back at 9pm with still, unfinished business. Down with fever and cough, on and off sore throat and sore throat. You name it, i'd got them all. But alhamdulillah, everything went well, at least they said it was better than the previous session. *Glad* 

And today, we had a post mortem early in the morning. I'd prepare myself that aku akan kena bambu for this and that, but thank God i was not. All my boss said, well we shall go out and eat somewhere for what we'd done. But hellooooo lunch with boss is not a real lunch. We still have meeting over lunch and because we didn't bring any papers to conteng, we wrote on tissue papers and brought it back with us, siap dah nak keluar sempat tanya my boss "Kak, tissue tadi dah ambik semua?" It was funny though. When we were about to step out, the staff and the cashier counter said thanx to us with her eyes looking at the drawer, tengah kira duit kot, tapi sebab customer nak keluar, kena cakap terima kasih. One of us said "ermmm, takde eye contact orang tu cakap terima kasih kepala tengok bawah". Boleh jadi operation manager dah aku rasa.

Well we are going to do another training again with existing staffs and again I'm in-charged. Due date before february endsssss and bear in mind, its already 13th January now. On top of that, another training for new staffs starting this 8th February, and again its my topic so material material material.

Nooooo I'm not grumblingggg... Seriously! You know why? Because all the things I'd said during appraisal, the management has taking it seriously. Tak menyesal aku meluahkan perasaan masa tu. When they asked for feedback, I told them all the things I feel, the arguement, the feelings of kuli batak, the memo-signature issue. All of it. And alhamdulillah it worth it. Cuma tadi boss aku pesan, "ingat she, humble sangat pun tak boleh eh.. kena balance, be transparent.."

Well btw, I've got two interviews from a company in Pasir Gudang as training officer with rm200 higher than my current salary and another one in Subang Jaya as a project manager in pharmaceutical company. The Subang Jaya one offers RM5900. Thats the lowest, the highest is RM9000 and they have 5 full time positions available. Seeing the figures made me omaigod i should give a tryyyyyyyy........ But part of me said - stay...

I'm afraid of bigger number, i can imagine how stress it can be. I never know how much they offered until they sent me an email last few days. Well maybe I'll wait for another 3 1/2 years and then I'll apply the same position again. Some more, there will be another trainer this march in my department so beban kerja dah kurang sikit dah kat situ. 

Deep inside, hati aku sebenarnya berat nak keluar dari JB... tu je.....