Yesterday I came home at 9.30pm. And today, I stepped out of the office door at 8.30pm. How cool is that? I'd done with my appraisal. Forget about the 1 month bonus, my appraisal - so bad. Very very very bad. After all the hardwork.
This morning, I woke up early than usual, get myself done, and straightly switched on my laptop to continue my work. Hint came out from bathroom and get himself ready to work. While seeing me typing, he asked "Buat kerja ke?" I just nod. Then he asked again "kenapa tak buat semalam je?". I was like "semalam dah la balik pun lambat, takkan nak sambung semalam jugak" and I said it out in a merungut voice. Suddenly hint's voice went high.
"Jawab la elok2, tanya sikit nak melenting! Orang tanya nak melenting kenapa?"
Nooooooo I was not melenting. I just answered his question but maybe I was so stress doing this unfinished task, aku macam "takkan la semalam kat ofis buat benda ni sampai malam, pastu balik nak sambung lagi. I need some gap and time to rest." I am merungut of this work not to him.. Or maybe he asked at the wrong time and there was my spontaneous answer. So instead of terkejut sebab dia marah, I turned out sobbing and continue typing. While typing I talked to myself, bodo kau she, merungut tak kena tempat. You know I am a person who cant take argument in the morning especially when its time to go to work. I'll be sad and I cant do my work. To make things worst, today I got a big big big meeting and if I went to work with that cloudy feelings, memang mati la aku. Mati mati mati. Then he went into the room sikat rambut kot. Macam mana kalau haikel marah lagi? I cant walk out with this feelings. I cant. Lepas tu dia keluar balik and said, "saya nak gerak dah".
Aku pun bangunla, masa nak jalan pergi duduk sebelah dia sebab nak salam, I said "Abang, adik bukan melenting pun tadi......" And I crieddddddddddd...It was not a sob sob cry, it was a very loud cry. Very loud! I saw hint in his suprised face before he pull me to his arm and whispered "kalau awak stress sangat, carik jelah kerja lain..." Aku diam je. Aku nangis nangis nangis sampai hingus meleleh. Yes he got it. To be frank, masa nangis tu aku rasa macam legaaaaaaaaa sangat. All the burden went off. It was already 8.30, he was late for work dah but still he sat there and hugged me.
Well i think i cant work here anymore. I love medicine, i love healthcare. Maybe I should try another place where people need me for what I can contribute, not for what fault they can point to.
3 Response to Rainbow tears
Aku nak nangis jugak !!!!!
nak kawennnnnnnnn !! sobsobsob
kawennnnn la syaaaaaaa..... nanti jempot akuuuuu.....
Huargghhhhhhh... opkos la aku akan jemput ko !! tapiiii bileeee ????
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