~ THUMBELINA ~

Hope

2012-01-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

Hint's gastritis is here again, after 4 months of symptom free. The last time he had it was last September, during Nad's reception in KL. Aku memang tak boleh tahan kalau tengok dia kena gastrik, teruk ya rabbi. I dah expect he's in pain bila dia mesej aku suruh beli ubat gastric dia which we still have at home but he couldnt find it. And because my work place is 40minutes from home, he went to clinic alone sebab tak tahan sangat dah.

Only Allah knows how scared I am to see him like that. Aku balik kerja je tengok dia tengah baring atas sofa in severe pain. He just had a jab 2 hours before I reached home (around 5,30pm), one dose of ranitidine eff, and norgesic. That was just too much for me to feed him with medication again. I dont see any problem as his diet is same like few months back. It might be he took his meal late or food intolerance to which i suspect limau cina is the culprit.

After maghrib aku masuk dapur nak masak, then I found out kepala gas tu adalah rosak so api tak boleh nak menyala. Adoiii. So I cooked nasik in microwave and lauk dalam deep fryer. Pandai2 la buat benda tu jadi multipurpose. But he just ate 2 suap then he stopped. I brought him water but he just took few sips. Lepas tu aku macam sedih then I stopped eating as well. Aku bangun tutup tv, tutup lampu, and I sat in the dark near him. Tiba2 rasa ada tangan sentuh kepala aku, he said "Sorry adik, bukan taknak makan, tapi tak boleh nak telan.." At 9.30pm, he was still in pain. Aku tak tau nak buat apa, because this pain is inside, bukan macam demam, boleh lap2, boleh tuam kepala, boleh tutup kipas bagi keluar peluh2.

Now at this 1 am, I am still awake, while he is sleeping beside me. Whenever dia tersedar, I notice he's trying his best to communicate with me like "eh, signal berkelip, boleh surf ke?" (referring to internet connection) or he took my hand to in his or "Awak tido la kalau mengantuk". I cant sleep, aku risau kalau jadi apa-apa nanti aku tak sedar. I told myself, kalau Subuh nanti dia still sakit, want it or not, I'll bring him to hospital.

And again, I would always prefer his snores to interrupt my night than listening to his pain. It hurts me when yesterday I was greeted with smiles and laughs but today he has to force himself to talk just to make sure I dont feel bad. I beg u Ya Allah, sembuhkan dia... I still need him to take care of me....

If we lose love and self respect to each other, this is how we finally die - Maya Angelou

2012-01-24T19:47:00.000+08:00

Seperti yang sepatutnya, aku bukanlah seorang yang cepat marah. Dalam apa-apa hal pun memang susah nak marah. Kalau aku marah pun sekejap sangat, lepas tu dah, ok balik. Ada setengah orang kalau marah pung pang pung pang, tapi aku kalau marah aku senyap je. Sebolehnya aku akan alihkan perasaan marah aku dekat benda lain. Sebab aku rasa bila marah bukan satu penyelesaian yang baik dalam sesuatu masalah. Lagi keruhkan keadaan ada. Sama jugak macam tinggikan suara. Kalau orang tu jenis yang tak paham bahasa atau rasa dia saja betul, kau marah ke kau tinggikan suara pun tak guna. At last, kau jugak yang stress, baik kau senyap sudah. Buat hal sendiri, pikir benda best-best.

Cuma ada 3 keadaan yang akan buat aku secara automatik jadi naga.

1- Time tengah drive.

Tiap2 hari aku akan ulang alik 40minit sehala untuk ke tempat kerja. Dalam masa 40 minit tu, kadang2 terlalu banyak orang bangang di atas jalan. Contohnya, pompuan cina berkereta besar tapi bawak macam naik basikal duduk lane kanan atau time nak keluar simpang,dia akan tunggu jalan clearrrrrrrrr 10 km baru keluar. Atau lori/bas yang tak sedar diri dorang tu takde hak langsung untuk berada kat lane tengah atau kanan. Tempat kau memang termaktub di lane kiri SAHAJA. Manusia yang tak reti nak bagi signal masa tukar lane, dan manusia yang gopoh bawak kereta especially time pergi kerja. Kau reti bangun awal tak bongok dan manage your time? Ni bawak macam setan. Itulah dia ye contoh2 orang Malaysia di atas jalan raya.

2- Orang yang taktau give and take

Ni biasanya berlaku kalau kau sewa rumah dengan member-member. Kita tong duit sama2, makan tapi lepas makan, kau basuh tangan, pastu blah. pinggan kau biar kat sink. Tak kesah la walaupun masa tu ada orang offer, "takpe aku basuh". Aku tak kesah kalau kau merupakan salah seorang yang sumbang tenaga masak nasik ke, tolong buat air ke, paling cikai pun tolong bentang tikar. Ni tak, Orang lain masak, orang lain bentang tikar, orang lain cedok nasik, orang lain buat air, orang lain bawak lauk letak depan bijik mata kau. Yang kau buat, duduk, tunggu, makan, sudah makan, bangun basuh tangan, surf internet. Wahhh hebat, macam firaun semua orang buatkan. Dan sebabkan faktor macam ni lah, bila kau tolong pun, orang lagi rela kau duduk jauh2, sebab : kalau kau tolong simpan balik lauk, kau angkat letak atas meja je, tapi kau tak tutup dengan tudung saji. Apakah bangangnye itu? Tak semenggah langsung buat kerja. Atau angkat pinggan yang dah habis lauk kat sink, kau main letakkkk je sampai bertimbun. Susun la weh biar kemas sikit walaupun dalam sink. Orang yang nak membasuh pun rasa sakit hati sebab bertimbun cawan kat bawah, periuk kat atas. Betul kita tong duit ramai2, tapi tong2 duit tu untuk benda makan, bukan untuk tenaga. Jadi bila dah mula bekerjasama, tolong la bagi komitmen. Tu je.

Aku rasa dalam apa2 situasi pun, kalau kau paham apa maksud HORMAT sesama manusia, benda2 macam ni takkan jadi. Ok dah la. Oleh sebab balik tadi aku stress, lepas tu hint pulak takde, maka aku pun cari alternative untuk alihkan perasaan marah aku. Caranya?

1- Tulisssssssss semua benda kat sini lepas tu rasa lega. *phewwww*

2- Sambil tulis sambil call 1300-13-1300

Makanan memang takkan pernah fail untuk buat kau rasa bahagia.
Ok dah, selamat makan ye =)

Wise and Fool

2012-01-23T18:16:00.001+08:00

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page" - St. Agustine

If you are not [yet] married, please get your mind ready to be depress by seeing insufficient balance in your bank account. No matter how small your wedding is, trust me you will lose your savings at least by half. Ok, that's the boring part, the best part, happiness is waiting for you to be there =)

Well life after marriage is full of ups and downs in its own way. It can be funny, it can make you mad and it can be awesome. We were broke after the wedding day and we have to start saving again. Alhamdulillah as of today, buku ASB memancar2 semula. Haritu masa pegi kursus kawen kan dia ada ajar macam mana nak allocate duit. Well for me the formula tak boleh pakai untuk hidup aku. Dengan percentage2 dia tu, banyak sangat pecahan. Simple2 sudah. Total gaji tolak EPF, 1/3 saving, 1/3 expenses (bil, rumah,kereta bla bla), 1/3 belanja (makan, movie,jln2,berjoli2 etc).

Kalau ikut dalam buku kursus kawen tu tak salah aku 20% saving, 40% expenses,20% petrol,10% insurans. Like haaaa?Aku tak rela nak membayar bil2 monthly lebih dari savings aku. And pernah jugak aku tengok ada orang savings sampai ikat perut. Oh come on la. Like hint said, life is fun. Make it balance sudah. Tak payah nak pening. Dont overspend and dont be too kedekut to yourself. Put aside saving dgn duit utk membayar2, yang lebih tu ko enjoy la sukati kau. Makan la sampai lebam, jalan la sampai patah kaki. Orang pun tak boleh nak cakap apa. Nak kata tak menyimpan, dah simpan dah. Nak kata hutang tertunggak, tiap2 bulan bayar kan?

Lain la kalau kau enjoy sukati swipe sana swipe sini sampai habis credit limit. Lepas tu sangkut tak boleh nak bayar. Memang layak la kena mengata. Kalau dah perangai camtu, belajar2 la swipe pakai debit pulak ye? =)

Happiness is just outside my window, would it crash blowing 80 miles an hour?

2012-01-22T10:31:00.002+08:00

Rise and shine bunnies!
Kak Suha is 3 months pregnant and I'm burst into tears upon hearing that. Alhamdulillah.Thank you Ya Allah.
Pastu hint tanya apesal nangis? Tak aaaa hidung tersumbat. Ahahaha.

Its Sunday, my favourite off day. Sunday has always become a productive day for me =). Well yes, I'm all wrapped up in JB for CNY. Hint is working, and we cant go back to Kelate for Timi's Engagement this Tuesday. Initially we want to go back after CNY 26th to 28th but MIL said its ok its just an engagement day. Aiyak, how sad is that? But no worries, we'll be there in May for few daysss and hint promises that he'll take me to Terengganu on our 1st anniversary. I cant waitttt! I miss Terengganu so much especially the foooooddddd, the beach and the one and only Mydin Mall (haha ok thats not funny =P) I spent 5 years there, even haritu masa drive balik Kelantan, hint was so nice, dia bawak aku lalu stadium, hot2 (tutup pla tu, haihhh) airport, asrama whatsoever and we stopped and ate at Rhu 10. Tau tak kitorang punya tahan tak nak lunch tempat lain just because nak makan by the beach. (Macam picnic la konon, sebab aku masak dari Johor). Then lalu Texas, rasa macam syoknya oiii. And pejam celik pejam celik dah 8 months aku kawen. =) And I miss Mak Beladau as well (dia mak angkat haikel tapi we are so close sebab hint dah kenalkan right after we couple). There's lots of memories there, panjat pokok duku behind her house, tangkap ikan talapia kat kolam ikan, jalan2 rumah jiran tetangga, and she always hug me before we went back. I miss that +________+

Up to these few days, I am more tolerate, less merajuk, less marah and I think he's trying his best to understand me as his wife. Not that we just knew each other but the transition phase from bf-gf to husband-wife, there's a lot for you to learn. From the differences cara lipat baju, kacau air, lipat sejadah semua2 tu la. Kadang-kadang benda kecik macam tu pun boleh buat kau freaked out, ni kan pulak benda2 besar. I love the way he understands that aku buat air tak sedap macam dia buat (btw aku pun tak paham pasepa aku tak pandai buat ayaq, loser sunggoh, masak reti pulak) so he'll buat ayaq for himself and me. Beware la kalau nak mai rumah aku, be ready to buat ayaq sendiri, haha =P

February is approaching and few exciting things are coming ahead. Starting with Amal's big day! Love! Love! Love! Kenet,my youngest brother who's studying in Melaka is going to spend his weekend here (sori la wei, sila naik bas,kakak tunggu kak Larkin sajos) then Aisyah is comingggg to JB on 18th and spends few days here (there's a lot to catch up!) and end of Feb, off to KL and retreat!

Ok nak kemas2 rumah now. Hari ni nak buat home made potato chip. Tengok aaa jadi ke tak. Semalam dah nak buat pastu lupa beli kentang pulak lepas dah dapat nasik lemak kambing =D

Keranamu KFCM

2012-01-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

On 801 right now is the match between Kedah and Kelantan. Hint is of course menggolekkan diri depan tv and me, sitting in the couch, surf here surf there. 1st half Kelantan 1, Kedah kosong. My husband, he cant see me senang hati. Sebuk dia tengok aku tengah godek2 facebook then he said :

Him : Like la Kelantan FA

Me : Taknak aaaa, nanti penuh wall dengan update bolaaa, malas aaaa

Tiba2 aku nampak page Kuch kuch hota hai. Dengan notification Erin dah like.

Me : Dari adik like Kelantan FA awak tu, baik adik like Kuch kuch Hota Hai".

Pap! Aku pun like... Lepas tu tau dia cakap apa?

Him : Oooo, kuch2 hota hai boleh like..Baik awak like Kelantan FA, tak baik ingkar arahan suami..

Me : Oiiiiiiiiii mana aciiiii cakap camtuuuuuu

Him : Pesal pulak??

Me : Ye la, cakap camtuuuu, kalau adik tak like kira dosaaaaa aaaa adikkk

Aku dah bising2 dah. Dia siap boleh gelak..

"Alaaa, bukan saya suruh awak buat benda tak elok pun..."

Ni namanya penyalahgunaan kuasa ye anak-anak. (+__________+)

The Prime Time Show

2012-01-20T01:53:00.002+08:00

Seriously, i love this year dinner's theme! Overall, games and performances were superrrbbbb! Food? So-so. Kambing telah menyelamatkan keadaan. Bak kata Nurul "aku tengok ko dari jauh asyik makannnn je tak berenti2. Orang lain semua tengok depan. Ko tengok depan jugak, tapi makan pun makan jugak" Bukti?

Taktau la masa bila aku letak garfu tu. Sedap sehingga menjilat2 bibir kau. Kambing kot. Mana bleh tahan??

*Gambar ihsan dari Nurul yang telah mengcandid dari jauh. Hai uyul! Kenapakah esok ko off?? +___+

Gambar yuk!

Yours truly (^__^)v

@ photobooth dengan "Rozita Che Wan"

Devil & Zorro. Umur dah 40+ ok. Sungguh cool.

Kak Shaida, Masai pharmacist made the garfu setan tu by herself.

"Siska" & "Angevil"

Si Siska pagi tadi masuk je kerja terus ada customer Indon call. Siska sangat!
Angevil ni baju dia half angel, half devil. Mixed identity. Siap ada ekor merah ok. Full gambo takde pulok.

Perasan makhluk yang hidung tertutup penyapu tu?
"The Reaper". Horror ok muka dia.

Semeja dengan dia - dark witch. Ni version moden ni, cun habis. Rambut pun rebonding.

Ni mak dia. Dah expert. So topi pun panjang sket.

Hang Tuah. Kena pakai spec sebab cari partner tak jumpa2.

Rupanya partner tengah naik stage amik award "Moment Of Truth".

Tu haaa yang gold berkilat2 tu "Puteri Gunung Ledang".

Ok, ni Izzati as "Cinderella". Belakang tu Kak Indra as "Peterpan" version pompuan. Sungguh comel!

"Siska" again. Dengan bini Jack Sparrow.

Ko tengok snow white kat blakang tu tengah bergossip apa aku pun tak taulah.

Naruto! My favourite! Sungguh real ok. Budak2 hotel pun nak amik gambar dengan dia. Rebutan sangat.

Last but not least,

My favourite pic of the night!

From left : Little Red Riding Hood, Nenek Kebaya, Snow White, Fairy Godmother, Siska, Jack Sparrow's wife, Rozita Che Wan. Love! Love! Love!

*Courtesy of Nurul and Zazus

Dinner #2

2012-01-17T18:56:00.000+08:00

As of today, my costume is 90% done.

3% untuk bahagian tengkok

5% lagi untuk bahagian tangan

1%kaki

1% ribbon

Snow white version muslimah. Handsocks skin color pulak takde.

Sekarang aku tengah pikir. Adakah logik aku nak drive sendiri pergi dinner esok?

Boring baq hangggg

2012-01-15T22:59:00.001+08:00

Ya Rabbi, harini punya la bosan taktau nak habaq. Selalu aku dok kata internet la segalanya tapi harini internet pun serupa ngan takdak apa. Aku tau la aku nak kena kemaih rumah tapi kalau dah mai boring gila, kemaih rumah kalau tak ikhlaih pun tak guna.

Tadi aku telefon kat hint, aku tanya "dok botpa? busy ka?" Dia kata "haa.. dok buat ordering sat. Awat? Botpa kat rumah?" Aku kata "taktau nak botpa dah, boring gila macam ngan... boring gila laaa". Aku nak kata boring nak mampuih satgi dia ingat aku kojaq plak, padahai tu la word terbaik nak express yang aku boring. Pastu bleh dak dia kata "tu la, len kali beli PS". Aik haritu aku tanya nak beli dak, dia yang takmau.

Pastu aku pun dok ulang la tengok mat luthfi semua2 video dengan video kate perry sampai la la ni dah pukui 11 dah, hint pun dah nak balik. Fuhhh, lega gila tak tau nak habaq. Btw aku rasa weekend ni la weekend yang paling tak produktif. Meluat sungguh.

Let it rains over me

2012-01-15T16:33:00.000+08:00

Ye anak2, bila stress dah takde, beban kerja dah kurang, rasa nak berhenti kerja pun mula menjauhkan diri. Pondan betol.

In fact, masa tengah type ni pun, aku ada satu tab power point tengah bukak. Semangat tak? Cewahhhh.. Bukan rajin ok.. Ni kejar dateline namanya. Sebenarnya aku benci gila buat kerja kat rumah. Ni pun nasib la hint kerja balik malam. Lepas tu kat tv pulak takde cerita. Aku tak paham betul kenapa hari bersenang lenang macam hari Ahad ni takde cerita best2 pulak. Paling best pun Maria Mariana. Cerita zaman aku darjah 4. Wth?

Btw, Hint pesan dengan aku, buat kerja kena ikhlas jangan merungut. Aku memang tak banyak merungut pun cuma kalau workloads bertimbun2 dateline semua dekat2 penat dan stress la jugak. Next week nak pergi urut. Angin dah banyak gila satu badan. Aku pun tak paham datang dari mana. Patut la asyik beranginnnnn je. Heh.

Oh satu lagi. Aku jeles dengan girlfriend baru Marc Anthony. Musnah cita-cita aku. Benci! Benci!

Velvet

2012-01-14T20:12:00.000+08:00

Oh hello. It almost 3 months this 16th. Just like the gynae said, hey you have to wait at least 3 months before you you conceive again. I havent started my folic acid nor my formula milk. Ok i know i have to. I have this thing on mind that ermmm are we ready? You know after all that happened. I never put on the subject in our daily conversation. I dont want him to look at me as impatient but being a woman, sapa taknak weh? Early marriage, we were agreed to conceive late 2011 but well accident happened, then it was not our rezeki.

There was twice when we talked, then he put on the subject. Like when I was watching hindi movies I always said "lets go to Indiaaaaaaa next yearrrrrr pleaseeeeeeeee". Then he said, ada baby time tu, nak pergi macam mana? I was like, "did he just said that?" Or when I cant sleep last week, I woke him up and said sedih. I was sedih because that night - he spent the whole night with internet and not talking to me, but you know what he asked? "Nak baby ke?" Sumpah aku gelak! If i wanted a baby takkan la tengah2 malam 3-4 pagi aku gerak? Adoi...Another thing he said, get the time to bersalin bulan 3 jelah, boleh celebrate birthday dengan saya..

Well its January. Another 4 months to our 1st anniversary. Cepat kan? I ermmmmm want to conceive again but at the same time I am scared. Believe me miscarriage is so painful physically and emotionally. I dont know why everytime I write this thing mesti rasa nak nangis. Sebab tu aku malas nak cakap pasal benda ni. Tapi kadang2 terpikir kat otak nak buat macam mana?

Have I told you masa aku pregnant dulu aku pernah mimpi masa tu aku bersalin at 3 months pregnant. Tak tau la tu mimpi setan nak kacau ke apa, when I think back, I become so scared because it happens in reality. Difference is, dalam mimpi that baby is alive, but in reality its not. Ouch.

Love, Hate, Up, Down

2012-01-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

Its a goooooooood day today! Sorry for being too emotional few days ago, I was so stress organizing last session of training for 16 new staffs which ended yesterday. Pack schedule, amendments here and there, slides keep changing from time to time padahal hari training dah tak lama. Prepare the decentralized trainers for role play. Went back at 9pm with still, unfinished business. Down with fever and cough, on and off sore throat and sore throat. You name it, i'd got them all. But alhamdulillah, everything went well, at least they said it was better than the previous session. *Glad*

And today, we had a post mortem early in the morning. I'd prepare myself that aku akan kena bambu for this and that, but thank God i was not. All my boss said, well we shall go out and eat somewhere for what we'd done. But hellooooo lunch with boss is not a real lunch. We still have meeting over lunch and because we didn't bring any papers to conteng, we wrote on tissue papers and brought it back with us, siap dah nak keluar sempat tanya my boss "Kak, tissue tadi dah ambik semua?" It was funny though. When we were about to step out, the staff and the cashier counter said thanx to us with her eyes looking at the drawer, tengah kira duit kot, tapi sebab customer nak keluar, kena cakap terima kasih. One of us said "ermmm, takde eye contact orang tu cakap terima kasih kepala tengok bawah". Boleh jadi operation manager dah aku rasa.

Well we are going to do another training again with existing staffs and again I'm in-charged. Due date before february endsssss and bear in mind, its already 13th January now. On top of that, another training for new staffs starting this 8th February, and again its my topic so material material material.

Nooooo I'm not grumblingggg... Seriously! You know why? Because all the things I'd said during appraisal, the management has taking it seriously. Tak menyesal aku meluahkan perasaan masa tu. When they asked for feedback, I told them all the things I feel, the arguement, the feelings of kuli batak, the memo-signature issue. All of it. And alhamdulillah it worth it. Cuma tadi boss aku pesan, "ingat she, humble sangat pun tak boleh eh.. kena balance, be transparent.."

Well btw, I've got two interviews from a company in Pasir Gudang as training officer with rm200 higher than my current salary and another one in Subang Jaya as a project manager in pharmaceutical company. The Subang Jaya one offers RM5900. Thats the lowest, the highest is RM9000 and they have 5 full time positions available. Seeing the figures made me omaigod i should give a tryyyyyyyy........ But part of me said - stay...

I'm afraid of bigger number, i can imagine how stress it can be. I never know how much they offered until they sent me an email last few days. Well maybe I'll wait for another 3 1/2 years and then I'll apply the same position again. Some more, there will be another trainer this march in my department so beban kerja dah kurang sikit dah kat situ.

Deep inside, hati aku sebenarnya berat nak keluar dari JB... tu je.....

My flower

2012-01-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson. Beautiful name for a beautiful flower.

I always argue with hint. I wonder why of all beautiful women, he could say katy perry is not one of them. WHY??? My Katy Perry is prettier than Megan Fox. She's thousand times sexy than Angelina Jolie but she's sexy in her own way. She's not a bitch-type. She's beautiful, and she has the voice. Dont dare to change the channel when she's on air. I'll scream!!

kalau aku ni laki, penuh dinding rumah aku lekat gambar dia!

Rainbow tears

2012-01-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I came home at 9.30pm. And today, I stepped out of the office door at 8.30pm. How cool is that? I'd done with my appraisal. Forget about the 1 month bonus, my appraisal - so bad. Very very very bad. After all the hardwork.

This morning, I woke up early than usual, get myself done, and straightly switched on my laptop to continue my work. Hint came out from bathroom and get himself ready to work. While seeing me typing, he asked "Buat kerja ke?" I just nod. Then he asked again "kenapa tak buat semalam je?". I was like "semalam dah la balik pun lambat, takkan nak sambung semalam jugak" and I said it out in a merungut voice. Suddenly hint's voice went high.

"Jawab la elok2, tanya sikit nak melenting! Orang tanya nak melenting kenapa?"

Nooooooo I was not melenting. I just answered his question but maybe I was so stress doing this unfinished task, aku macam "takkan la semalam kat ofis buat benda ni sampai malam, pastu balik nak sambung lagi. I need some gap and time to rest." I am merungut of this work not to him.. Or maybe he asked at the wrong time and there was my spontaneous answer. So instead of terkejut sebab dia marah, I turned out sobbing and continue typing. While typing I talked to myself, bodo kau she, merungut tak kena tempat. You know I am a person who cant take argument in the morning especially when its time to go to work. I'll be sad and I cant do my work. To make things worst, today I got a big big big meeting and if I went to work with that cloudy feelings, memang mati la aku. Mati mati mati. Then he went into the room sikat rambut kot. Macam mana kalau haikel marah lagi? I cant walk out with this feelings. I cant. Lepas tu dia keluar balik and said, "saya nak gerak dah".

Aku pun bangunla, masa nak jalan pergi duduk sebelah dia sebab nak salam, I said "Abang, adik bukan melenting pun tadi......" And I crieddddddddddd...It was not a sob sob cry, it was a very loud cry. Very loud! I saw hint in his suprised face before he pull me to his arm and whispered "kalau awak stress sangat, carik jelah kerja lain..." Aku diam je. Aku nangis nangis nangis sampai hingus meleleh. Yes he got it. To be frank, masa nangis tu aku rasa macam legaaaaaaaaa sangat. All the burden went off. It was already 8.30, he was late for work dah but still he sat there and hugged me.

Well i think i cant work here anymore. I love medicine, i love healthcare. Maybe I should try another place where people need me for what I can contribute, not for what fault they can point to.

60% done

2012-01-08T11:36:00.000+08:00

Sewing is my passion. Bila aku rajin je lah.. Hahahaha ok, bila baca komen sya, baru aku perasan, warna kain2 tu warna bendera Malaysia. Cikgu sangat kau sya =P . Tapi takde lah aku nak pakai bendera. Najib pun tak pakai kot full costume in Jalaur Gemilang. kan?

Lepas aku pos entri semalam, maka aku pun memulakan kerja. .Tapi aku takde la spend overnight on that dress. Gua pun mengantuk jugak ye anak anak. Jadi inilah hasilnya, 60% done. Lagi 40%?

10% part tangan.
10% Leher
10% Skirt
10% Untuk cantumkan semua

Ok lah, bocor rahsia.. Nahhhhh...

Amacam, okeh?

DINNER

2012-01-07T17:30:00.001+08:00

About dinner again. Backdated sebab actually it is an annual dinner for 2011. Tapi 18 January ni baru nak buat. Well this is my second dinner with the company. Last time, the theme was "Arabian" to which I was not wearing those kaching kaching gold choins around my waist, tapi choose to wear baju biasa2, tapi nak pakai tudung macam norjuma pakai masa ada award apa tah yang theme dia pun arabian nite. Baju aku recycle baju masa bertunang sajos. Please dont compare me with norjuma. Of course she is 1000X gorgeous than me, aku kan cuma rakyat jelata yang lemah dan tidak berdaya....

2010. Arabian celah mana aku pun tak tau.

Well, this year, the theme is MOVIE CHARACTER.

Dulu masa form 2, aku pernah jadi witch masa dinner kadet polis. Masa tu kan sekolah pompuan. So rambut is not an issue la.

This how I looked like masa tu. More or less. Baju aku pinjam Jubah nad warna hitam. Mind you, Nad adalah 15 centimeter lebih tinggi dari aku, so just nice la bila aku pakai tu, jubah akan meleret like a witch. Topi, mak aku buatkan, pakai sugar paper warna hitam, pastu letak gold dust warna silver kot. Kasut... hahaha, gua memang ada boot hitam masa tu, so I wore that. Rambut masa tu memang panjang macam hantu, so natural la. Sampai orang yang tak pernah tengok rambut aku tanya "Rambot hang hat betoi ka tipu ni?" Siot. Penyapu, aku curi kelas mana punya entah. And I won the best dress that night =P. Sayang gambar takde, kalau tak esok2 anak aku nakal, aku guna gambar tu je takotkan dia.

I love to wear like that. Tapi takkan nak jadik witch pakai tudung kot? Aku nak jadi superwomen yang lain pun semuaaaaaaaaaaaaa baju stail hat melekat2 kat badan. I was thinking to jadi Power Rangers colour Pink

Kan sopan kan. Baju pun tutup bontot. Kat kepala aku tak gadoh la nak pakai helmet, aku pakai tudung pink yang melekat pun dah ok dah kot. Tapi seluaq ketat T_____________T Kalau pakai longgar kang jadik camni huduh kot.

Pikir punya pikir, tiba2 dapat idea. Tadi lepas balik kerja pukul 1.30pm terus aku pergi kedai kain.

Agak-agak aku nak jadi apa??? Tekaaaaa tekaaaaaa =P

Between $$$$ and happiness

2012-01-06T03:11:00.000+08:00

It's 2.20 am in the morning and I cant sleep. I've too many things on my mind and I'm down with fever for almost 5 days together with irritating cough, runny nose is about to start. Well you name it, I have them all. I've took all the medication and afraid not, none of them works.

I am stress.

That was what Hint said to me just now after he asked me repeatedly "Are you sure you've take the medicine? Do we have ubat batuk? Why you still have this fever bla bla.." So I told him I wanna get out of bed, and take my own sweet time. I cant sleep.

Yes, I am stress.

And I am regret because I take the offer to be transfered to Training Department. Yes, I got free laptop, I am no longer working in 2 shifts, I dont have to work 12 hours on weekend. But, I have to sacrifice all my happiness. I work with a perfectionist colleague which from that person I learned "to be looked as a perfect person, find the fault of others". All I did was wrong, all my works are rejected like I'm a damn stupid person. Worst case, when I came to work, I found out my pieces of work were submitted and delivered with her signature on it. For me, that is too much.

I am stress and I cant take it anymore. I am not given 200 years to live. And I dont know when will I die. All I know, I cant sacrifice my happy days to a stress life. Its either I live with luxury, high salary but end up with anti depression medicine or live in moderate life with a quality and happy day.

And being me, money is not everything. So I'll let it go. 2 months from now.

Fevaaaa bebeh, fevaaaaaa

2012-01-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

My new year starts with few bad things.

31st december - I went to Jusco and was crazy for its happy hour. Grab 4 shirts, suddenly I felt dizzy and need to sit or sleep somewhere immediately. But still I had to buy barang-barang rumah. Wah masa kau memilih baju tak sakit kepala pulak. So I went back to parking lot, sat in the car for 45min-1 hour then masuk balik to buy some barang dapur. Reached home at 6 with moreeee severe headache and puked for 2 times after maghrib. Habis keluar semua isi perut yang aku makan sebanyak 2 pinggan di siang hari. Then went down for tomyam, that's the only thing I can eat kalau sakit kepala. Tapi ya rabbi punya la lambat resulted in nasib aku bawak kunci kereta, so I slept in the car. Dah aku bangun sejam lepas tu pun tomyam tak siap lagi. Kalau tak mengenangkan aku ni dah la sakit kepala, isi perut semua dah takde, nak je aku cancel.

1st January - No more headache. Pergi kerja kat Taman U. Huha huha melepak, bergosip dan bercanda2, then 1.30pm balik, singgah giant. Malam tu elok je pukul 9 lebih, period. Haaaa patut la semalam kemain sakit kepala muntah2 bagai. Izzah sangat kau she. Nasib kawen dengan haikel, kalau kawen dengan Hariz, mau kena sepak terajang dah sebab ingatkan mengandung. Pastu elok dalam pukul 11 tu nak tido, sengguguttttttttt la pulak..Habis pati halia, perskindol aku spray. Makan buscopan pun tak jalan.. Adoi, dah tua2 pun senggugut lagiiiii?

2nd January - Woke up with senggugut lagi. Tapi still managed to buat kerja. Pukul 1 pergi lunch. Order kueytiaw kerang + teh tarik. Teh tarik licin, kueytiaw kerang macam tak luak. Elok je pukul 5, aku rasa macam menggigil. Oii dah kenapa ni. Went down and bought cadbury zip. Ni rasa nak demam pulak. Pukul 6 je, terus cabut. Masa tu, aku cuma pikir nak balik rumah, telan panadol sebab badan tiba2 panas, aku takut otak aku jammed. Sampai rumah, telan actifast sebijik, masuk dalam bilik, bungkus dalam selimut.

Dalam pukul 7 hint sampai, nak bawak aku pergi klinik. Aku taknak..No I cant MC, 2 minggu ni adalah so damn busy and I must get well soon sebab esok got meeting, dan pending work adalah sedepa. Then hint basahkan towel letak atas kepala. Pastu dia pun keluar tengok tv and let me sleep. Panas kot weh duduk dalam bilik tak bukak kipas. Dia keluar je, aku tido jap, pastu terjaga masa azan isyak. Aku amik towel tu, aku lap satu badan. I paksa jugak bangun. Lagipun nak terkencing. Pastu masuk dapur masak. Hint cakap takpe2, dia buat. Tapi aku pulak takpe2, demam dah nak ok..

Pastu makan and feel better. Now at 10.45 pm, I'm sitting in my long pants, sweater and socks while hint watching flubber kat fiesta. Temperature dah dropped and back to normal I guess. Alhamdulillah. Aku cuma nak bagitau these few days macam2 la aku sakit, tapi ni la demam yang paling cepat baik. Within 5 hours. Biasanya demam sampai 3-4 hari. Btw, tahun 2011 aku tak demam langsung. Mungkin jugak berkat kasih sayang seorang suami. Ecehhhhhhh...

Ok dah. flubber dah nak habis and I'm off to bed. Harini nak tido awal, to get enough sleep and esok sambung kerja seperti biasa. =)

2012

2012-01-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

Hello new year! I am 26 today. oh how cruel!

For 2012, I hope I will :

1- Be a better wife, a better muslim, a better kakak, a better daughter.

2- Be the next "laura in the kitchen"

3- Buat kerja dengan baik dan bijaksana supaya boleh naik gaji.

4- Reduce the frequency of wearing baju atas bontot dan seangkatan dengannya, as well as tudung.

5- Semayang ontime. Takmau lengah2.

6- Khatam Quran.

7- Get a tix to India. Dont ask me why India.

8- Get myself 4 new pair of shoes,20 new shirts,1 new handbag&10 tudung.

9- Conceive again.

Last but not least, to ENJOY every second of my life.

Say NO to stress and tears!

01/01/2012
At the age of 26.

Haih, tua gila rasa. Kenapa masa umur 25 haritu tak rasa apa2??

Change, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a dusk

2011-12-29T23:51:00.001+08:00

My 2012 resolution?

To dedicate my whole life to Him.

I did it twice in my life before. 1st, when I was 15. He answered all my prayers and I could feel His love. But yes every pretty things comes with a test and I failed. And when I failed, I lost. And when I realized I was way too far from Him, there came the 2nd time in my life, when I was 21. And you know what Allah gives me? The greatest gift ever, He gives me hint, and that is more than enough. Alhamdulillah.

These few years I was so busy building my life. From a broken-hearted girl to a happy and blessed wife. And it's time for me to step back on Earth, to find myself in His blessing. Completely.

Where will I start?

Let it be a secret between me and Him :)

Love in my heart : Baby

2011-12-27T22:34:00.001+08:00

There are just 5 people in my family. Dad, mum, me, baby and kenet. Baby is 20 years old doing his engineering study in uia, and kenet is 18 waiting for his spm result. Baby and I born in the same day (Wednesday) and at the same time (2.20 am), but mine on 22nd october 1986, baby 10 April 1991. With 5 years gap, we are not a good childhood partner. For me, he was irrritating, he was so naughty or maybe I was jealous because after 5 years being an apple of everyone eyes, now the attention was for him. He was standard 1 when I was darjah 6, and I hate him more sebab dia marah aku sebab panggil dia "baby" kat sekolah. Dah tu kat rumah aku panggil hang "baby" takkan tiba2 kat sekolah aku nak kena panggil nama hang?

But he is not that bad. He seems to be very concern in everything I want. When I was 15, when I told my mum, I saw a crystal flower (you know the one with perfume inside) and I love it so much, but erm I dont have money for it, mak aku buat dono jek, but one day, in his 10, he came home from school with that flower. ='(

Sometimes, I do kesian sebab he study so hard tapi tak taulah kenapa maybe the luck is not with him. When standard 3 people are busy sitting for PTS (yang darjah 3 lompat pergi darjah 5 tu) I asked him, "awat hang tak amik exam tu?". He said "cikgu cakap exam tu untuk orang pandai2 ja" I was so sedih, though I hate him. Aku masa kecik2 kalau gaduh mulut laser jugak. and I regret for the words I used when we argued. =(

When I was waiting for PMR result, I was so takut nak amik result sebab aku tau aku study last minutes dan memang pemalas ya rabbi so instead of wasting my school holidays at home, I went to KL and stayed with my grandparents. There, I missed the moment of baby and kenet kena sunat. It must be cute sebab kenet baru darjah 1 masa tu, baby darjah 4. And it turned out I got straight A's for my PMR.

Balik je dari KL lepas result tu, as I entered my room, the room was decorated to greet me. I saw a flower on my make up table, a note on the mirror "Congratulation kakak", a yellow music box and colourful ikan. He never give up to win my heart. And there's a time in 2007 at 3 am in the morning I text him. "Baby, kakak mintak maaf banyak2, kakak banyak buat salah dengan baby. I am not a good sister, your childhood must be a nightmare because of me. Kakak mintak maaf for all things I did that hurt you since you was born bla bla..."

And we became a good partner since that day, I love him, he keeps most of my secrets. And tell you what, he is my best man during my wedding. He always said "takpe takpe, biar baby buat". I dont know how can he keeps all the keserabutan, but he is my man. Sebab tu bila aku tau ada orang sakitkan hati dia, I tend to hate them more.

I love you baby.
With all my heart.

Feelings

2011-12-26T22:22:00.006+08:00

Is a conscious subjective experience of emotion. Something that just happen with or without we want it or we ask for it. It just happens.

As a normal people, who wants to feel sad? who wants to be bad? who wants to waste their time with stupid emotion? No one. Even when we are facing bad news, we still hope for smile. When we fall, we hope for a hand to hold us up and get our feet back on the ground. From time to time, we hope for happiness, we pray for love, we pray for smiles to greet our day. In a humble way, we dont want much, we just hope that we are living in tranquility with no hurt feeling. That just is. And we work for it. For the best of us.

But who are we, to tell people around us "hey, dont mess with me" or "be good". But who are we (again) to hope others will understand us? Who are we for them to think before they act? Who are we for them to be concern of our feelings? Who are we to be appreciated as we are? Not to be compared? To be cherished every minutes?

And there goes, because we are nobody, we eat the feeling. We tell, we lose. We keep we die. So we rather waste our time by thinking and thinking. Why did they do this? And why it must be me to feel this feelings? For a loser like me, I might end up crying.

But darlings, life is too short to feel bad, to feel sad. There's lot of exciting things out there for us to reach. Why bother when there is no one who understands us, or no one to make us feel appreciated? We still have God listening to us, you know the one we cant see but we can feel. Or at least, we still have ourselves. Why most of the time we feel like we have nobody though the fact is, by standing on our feet, we are tough enough? Cant you see, we became small, tiny, and dependable when we hope on others. Come on, we are good in our own way. Allah never put us aside when we are bad. He accepts us as we are, because he created us and he knows whats the best the us. So if you think you are that bad, stupid, loser or whatever, think back. He knows best. Thats why He created you with the "conscious subjective experience of emotion" = feelings.

Orang hati batu je yang takde perasaan. So come on, lets chill with this. The best movie that never fails to motivate me.

http://tubeplus.me/movie/160104/Eat_Pray_Love/.

Jasmine

2011-12-25T14:16:00.001+08:00

I always love Sunday. And today is the best Sunday ever sebab I can relax all day long. Tak payah susah2 kemas rumah. You know why?

I was working yesterday, 1/2 day. By 2 pm, I already parked my car and went to kedai runcit depan tu for bread and telur. Lepas tu cepat2 masuk rumah. JB adalah hujan semalam and despite of harus mandi sebab bau hujan, I opted to "pakai perfume la dulu.." Hodoh ye perangai. Pastu masa nak bukak jam tangan dan letak di tempat sepatutnya, aku ternampak perfume britney yang hint bawak balik haritu. Aku memang suka miniature, tapi miniature tu semua hint yang beli dan sedekah kat aku. Hehe. Semua miniature tu aku dah try bau tapi yang britney tu aku tak pernah bau lagi. Jadi aku pun "try pakai yang ni laaaa". Setahu aku britney punya biasanya bau fruity macam tu kot. Aku tak suka sangat, cuma acceptable la. Dengan confident aku terus pakai tanpa membaunya terlebih dahulu...

Sekali aku pakai, aaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Pesal busukkkkkkkkkk?? Aku tengah pikir bau apa ni eh? busuk gila! sebab aku rasa aku pernah bau benda ni dalam satu product lepas tu aku tak suka.. Punya la pikir, lepas tu baru aku teringat, haritu hint pernah beli green tea. Aku memang suka green tea, tapi yang hint beli tu gua tak bleh telan sebab dia "green tea + jasmine". Maybe ada kot orang yang suka bau jasmine, tapi bagi aku, Jasmine cuma indah sebagai nama..sebab hidung aku tak boleh terima bau dia..lagi pulak dah melekat kat badan, aku rasa aku sungguh busuk ketika itu. =(

Dalam keadaan diri yang busuk, tiba2 aku bau lagi satu benda yang menyengat hidung. Uncle sebelah rumah aku pulak gi bakar colok. Elok la time2 hujan angin menderu-deru ni. Aku dah start pening dah. Malas nak layan, aku pun masuk dapur. Lapar weh. Bila lapar, kita nak makan masakan yang cepat dimasak sedap dimakan. But not maggi. I want nasikkkk. Since hint adalah kerja dan pukul 6 baru balik. Maka marilah kita masak cincai cincai untuk diri sendiri. Telur dadar. Masa tu pulak bapak aku telefon, cakap2 dalam 10 minit, ohhhhh laparrrrrrrr, kena bergegas ni. Sekali................................

For the 1st time selama 25 tahun hidup. Sebab ni 1st time, i never thought the smell would be that bad.. Lagi busuk dan menyengat dari bau bunga melur dan colok. Aku google dia cakap patutnya tuang kopi dulu atas telur tu then baru lap. Kopi pun takde kat rumah ni, takkan nak tuang 3 in 1? Maka tanpa rela, dah alang2 busuk, aku pun terus la basuh lantai. BASUH ok, bukan lap. Dah alang2 BASUH lantai, aku pun tonyoh la sekali bilik air. Dengan bilik air dalam bilik pun aku sental pastu satu rumah aku mop. T___________T

Biasanya aku cuma lakukan tugas-tugas ini ketika hari Ahad, tapi sebab aku dah buat semalam, sebab tu harini aku relax gila, tinggal nak masak ja. Dan sebab semalam aku letih gila, maka laki aku pun balik rumah makan telur kicap sahaja. Tu pun dah kira rajin aku nak kicap2. Kalau tak, entah2 aku rebus je kot. Hehe.

p/s : bau busuk telur dah takde sebab aku dah sembur satu rumah dengan perfume hint. Dia selalu marah aku, "ingat perfume saya tu air freshener?" hahahhaa. Tapi lepas tu pun aku sembur jugak lagi, bila dia takde la =P

Less is More

2011-12-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Kadang-kadang aku pelik kenapa ada sesetengah orang adalah sangat memilih dan tak pandang pun pada benda2 yang takde brand dan cikai. Contoh : "eiii aku tak boleh makan coklat brand lain,cadbury jugak sedap." Haaa, apakah? Atau mungkin menilai sesuatu berdasarkan harga. Lagi mahal lagi sedappppppp. Haaaa? I dont know how about you guys, tapi the 1st time aku makan haagen dazs adalah kecewa. Sama macam sushi king. Bagi aku kedai Sushi kat Kuala Terengganu & Hokka2 kat Danga City Mall 10 kali ganda lagi sedap dari Sushi King, walaupun Sushi King lebih ada nama. Atau mungkin Pizza One kat sana lebih sedap dari Pizza Hut. Contoh lain, frozen yogurt Hielo kat KSL City lebih sedap dari Tutti Frutti dan Jco.

Tiramisu Cookies.

Ni packing negara mana aku tak tau. Tapi the one from Jusco tu adalah macam ni. Kalau hint belikan aku ni, aku boleh sengih sampai telinga selama 4 hari.

Blue Bunny Ice Cream

Aku sukaaaaa gilaaaaaaa aiskrim ni. Tau kenapa? Sebab gambar ilustrasi dia bukan sekadar hiasan.

Yelah, biasa kan gambar tu menipu je. Tapi aku masa cedok tu, ada berpuluh2 buah strawberry dalam dia. Like seriouslyyyy? Tu kalau strawberry la, kalau amik durian, agaknya dalam dia ada durian la jugak kot.

Delfi Chocolate.

Dalam masa 5 hari je aku dah habiskan 2 bar besar, golden almond & dairy milk. Semalam masa hint belikan aku yang dairy milk tu, aku punya sengih2 sampai hint cakap "oii pervertnya muka!" haha kuang asam!

Bagi aku, benda2 yang tak menonjolkan diri bukan semuanya cikai dan tak layak dipandang walaupun dengan sebelah mata. Contohnya burger Ninja belakang asrama dulu. Oh rindunyaaaaaaaa!

Let us thanks the charming gardener who makes our souls blossom!

2011-12-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

Apa 3 benda dalam hidup korang yang korang sangattttt sukaaaaa?? Benda ok, benda. Jadi suami, pulau dan makanan tak boleh dikira. Aku?

1- BUKU NOTA

Aku tak boleh tengok buku nota. Pantang tengok mesti rasa nak beli padahal tak tau la nak notakan apa. Sebab tu tiap2 kali pergi shopping complex, aku akan elak dari pergi bahagian stationery sebab aku tau nanti aku mesti tak tahan. Tak tau la kenapa, tapi benda tu macam sangat tempting, kalau aku dah berkenan nanti, aku tak boleh cakap tak. The one that I'm using for work now cost rm25 padahal buku tu hanyalah saiz A5 dan garis2 macam buku sekolah. Yang menarik cuma kulit sahaja. Aku pun tak tau kenapa aku beli tapi by the time I saw it, aku rasa macam ohhhhhhh tak boleh jadi niiiii kena beliiiii kena beliiiiiii.. As of 2011, aku rasa aku dah beli 12 buku nota, yang guna cuma 1. *geleng kepala*

2- DAISY

I love flowers. I love when I was surrounded by flowers. Especially daisy ke gerbera ke whatever you call it. Obvious kot, header blog pun ada daisy. Initially i love roseeeeeeee... especially red roses sebab lambang cinta, cewahhh.. Ok no, I love red roses sebab hint suka bagi bunga tu. And setiap kali dia bagi aku rasa macam ohhhhhh cintaaaaaaaaa..I love the rose because of him.. Tapi daisy lain, dia macam ada cantik tersendiri to which bila aku jumpa aku rasa "Daisyyyyyyyyy!!"

3- CAREER

I love my job to death. Working in pharma line adalah sangat exciting. especially to work in training department. Early stage, aku nangis2 la jugak balik rumah sebab the task is tough. Sampai aku cakap dengan hint, baik la duduk kat counter prescription je, bagi2 ubat, cukup time balik, tak payah sambung2 kerja harini sambung esok, ada dateline whatever. Sometimes I gave up and rasa nak resign. Tapi lama2 aku rasa eager. Memo kena reject, kena hentam, project pending tak start2, is another thing. Bila I was included in 2012 company strategy which is still on, hari2 meeting, i kinda like it. I learn to look in different view, adalah sangat challenging. Boss aku cakap, tak semua orang are lucky to be in management team. I am still new in this line, and till death pun akan masih belajar. Its not just about $$$, its about passion. And I love that.

So you know what made me happy these few days?

Official launching of the new building last Saturday. And I was given a super duper comfortable room in level 3 with my colleague. Btw, kitorang dua orang je kot Trainers. So the room is very comfy for us.

And we had flowers everywhere, depan pintu, tangga, depan bilik air pun ada ok!

Ni 1/5. Ada banyak gila bunga sampai aku rasa macam kerja kat Cameron highlands dah. Sian jugak la kat orang2 yang allergic, habis merah hidung, nasib aku tak =)

And the best thing, bila aku masuk bilik pagi tadi, ada benda ni.. Its a buku bunnies!

And yang ni, bunga2 yang aku angkut bawak balik. Kalau ikut hati, rasa nak sewa lori, angkut semua!

These flowers really make my soul blossoms!

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love

2011-12-11T12:06:00.001+08:00

Membeli barang2 baby adalah sangat exciting! Mestila bukan untuk aku tapi masa aku membeli barang2 sedemikian, I was buying it with lots of loveeeeee to which if I had a baby, I would buy the same thing too.

Ok, this one goes to Kak Myz baby, Nur Eryna Marissa.

Did I told you masa pergi urut untuk naikkan rahim haritu, akak tu cakap, bila dia urut belakang aku, dia terkejut "kalau biasa pengalaman akak urut orang, awak ni kalau lekat, mesti sepasang sepasang, tapi uri lain-lain." Aku macam terkejut gila. Sebab haritu masa scan, memang gynae tu cakap sepasang tapi uri lain-lain.

Aku pun cakap la "Haritu dah sepasang la kak, tapi gugur dah pun". Dia cakap, "tapi kalau tengok ni pun macam lepas ni Allah bagi sepasang lagi. Wallahualam la, kalau ada rezeki ada.."

Oiii aku punya suka masa tu Tuhan je yang tau. And that explains why this status exist. Haha.. =P

Enough

2011-12-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

I'm damn sad, I'm down, I feel like giving up, I feel like running away.
My eyes are wide open, but my heart is dead.

I cant take it anymore.
I just cant.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

2011-12-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

Semalam masa jalan-jalan kat jusco, aku ternampak satu beg deuter for kids. Ya rabbiiiiiii, the bag is sooooooo damn cute, kecik gilaaaaa, aku rasa macam erhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Dah la pink, sama macam beg deuter ai jugak. Can u imagine both mummy and her kids wearing the same bag? Terus aku text hint..

"Ada beg deuter budak cuteeeeeee sangatttttttt. Boleh beli simpan untuk anak tak?"

Nah kau... tak agak2 soalan.. Hint reply "Errrrrr...berapa hengget? Amik gambar.."

This is it. Deuter Pico. Comes in pink and blue.
Dalam plastik memang nampak hodoh la. Tapi kalau tengok dekat2 memang boleh sawan.

Ni close up from google.

Size : 31 x 24 x 17 cm (6 liter). Kecik gila kan? Grrrrrrrrr..

Imagine if the twins were here, and I supposed to be 5 months now, mesti takyah tanya hint aku dah beli dah untuk dua-dua. Ala tiba2 rasa sedihhhhh ni kenapaaaaaa..........

Dear Velvets,do you know how much Ibu missed you when I saw the bag?do you know the feelings when I think of sending you to nursery, putting all your stuffs inside it?I miss you love, more than anyone can imagine..

Microwave ku sayang~

2011-12-03T21:31:00.001+08:00

At last, aku dah buat page untuk Seal The Deals tu. So far ada 3 promotion. Mayfair, Slimworld & Domino's. Kalau aku tak buat page tu, tak tau sampai bila aku kena letak benda alah tu as sticky post kat sini. Hooo cana nak update bloggg? Respond adalah sampai menggalakkan padahal tak sampai 24 jam aku pos benda tu. Eleh, kau pun rembat sampai 5 keping she.. kau ingat orang lain taknak? =P

Btw, tadi dalam pukul 11pagi aku masak la untuk hint. Dah habis masak, tinggal nak hidang, aku tanya hint, nak air apa? Dengan harapan dia nak air masak la, sekali dia nak kopiko. So dah alang2 aku amik la 2 mug masuk air pastu masukkan je dalam microwave. Nescafe tarik berbuih tu ai punyaaa...

Tepi microwave ada keropok keping. Pastu aku terpikir, eiiii keropok ni kalau makan dengan nasik sedappp ni..Pastu masak je air, aku amik piring, letak keropok tu dalam microwave. Aku set 1 minit. Masuk saat ke-20 aku dah "fuiyoooo giler aaaaaa". Pastu hint tanya, awak masak apa? Dia pun masuk dapur, lepas tu dia pulak tercongok depan microwave tengok keajaipan berlaku. Jakun ok dua-dua sebab 1st time tengok microwave masak keropok. Hasilnya?

Kembang dengan sungguh mekar dalam masa 1 minit. Tak payah aku masuk minyak selori dalam kuali, tunggu panas, pastu nak tos pulak untuk buang minyak. This is totally cholestrol-free, taste the same dan sangat cepat. Seminit okkkk seminittttttt! Sukaaaaaaaa!

HUNTING FOR 50 LUCKY LADIES FOR MAYFAIR & SLIMWORLD SPONSORSHIP!

2011-12-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hello darlings! Remember the Mayfair promotion last time in 2010? Well the promotion is backkkkkkk!!

Actually ni project office dulu, tapi disebabkan aku adalah pengkaypo and pen-suka benda free :P, maka bos tempat kerja lama offer aku 6 benda. Slimworld, Mayfair, Dominos Pizza, Ayamas, Rasamas dgn ada lagi satu Sinwufu Car Service. Sebagai ex-staff yang baik and to make sure project ex-boss berjalan lancar, I need to find 50 lucky ladies untuk sponsorship ni. All you need to do is pay rm29.90 to get the vouchers. Lepas tu get the 4 bonus for free. Pergi bawak diri, IC, duit tinggal rumah. Senang tak?

MAYFAIR

MAYFAIR, once you have the vouchers, you can redeem the free treatments and gift at :

KLANG VALLEY

1. Ampang

2. Bandar Baru Bangi
3. Bandar Botanic Klang

4. Cheras

5. Damansara Utama

6. Kajang

7. Kepong

8. Mid Valley

9. Pavilion, KL

10. Platinum Walk, Setapak

11. Puchong

12. Shah Alam, Seksyen 7

13. Seremban

14. USJ

SOUTHERN

1. Taman Sri Tebrau, Johor Bahru

2. Batu Pahat

3. Bandar Baru Uda

4. IOI Mall, Kulai

5. Johor Jaya

6. Kota Tinggi

7. Tun Aminah

8. Muar

9. Melaka

NORTHERN

1. Alor Setar

2. Sungai Petani

3. Bay Avenue

4. Bukit Mertajam

5. Jalan Burmah, Penang

6. Ipoh

EAST COAST

1. Kuantan

As for SLIMWORLD, once you have the voucher, you can redeem the free treatments and gift at :

NORTHERN

1. I-Avenue, Bayan Lepas, Pulau Pinang

2. Alor Setar, Kedah

SOUTHERN

1. Senawang

2. Taman Melaka Raya, Melaka

3. Bandar Baru Uda, Johor

EAST COAST

1. Kota Bharu, Kelantan

2. Kuala Terengganu

3. Kuantan

KOTA KINABALU & KUCHING

1. Grand Plaza Putatan,

2. Lintas Square

3. Pelita Commercial Park, Miri

4. Jalan Rock, Kuching

5. Al-Edrus Commercial Centre, Kuching

This offer is NOT FOR SALE AT ANY OUTLETS, so those who are really interested are most welcome. For serious ladies only, sebab total damage to sponsor 50 lucky ladies are RM 57, 405 for MAYFAIR and RM 62,305 for SLIMWORLD.

First come first serve basis. You can buy as many as you want untuk mak ke, kakak ke adik ke, nenek ke, bff ke, tapi 1 person boleh redeem 1 voucher sahaja for each promotion. So nak jimat, beli la Mayfair & Slimworld. So boleh get sponsored untuk dua2 =) Tak kesah la yang nak kawen ke, yang belum kawen ke, yang gatal nak try macam aku ke.. hehe.. open for all

Redemption period :

Mayfair : December 2011 - May 2012.

Slimworld : December 2011 - April 2012.

To confirm your seat, please go to http://sealthedeals.blogspot.com untuk isi order form, okies :) Sebab official blog untuk benda alah ni dekat sana =)

DARI LIDAH AKU KE TULANG RUSUK KAU

2011-11-28T16:46:00.003+08:00

Masih lagi pasal internet. Sayang-sayang sekalian, tahukah anda internet adalah sejenis jalur lebar yang membolehkan kita melayari apa sahaja secara online (translate : atas talian). Dan aku, manusia yang menggunakan internet dengan sebaik-baiknya sebab bulan2 bayar RM49 untuk 5GB, maka harus guna semaksimum mungkin. Sebab wimax aku akan renew data usage every 28hb, jadi tiap2 27hb aku akan check berapa capacity yang aku dah guna. Macam bulan ni, sehingga semalam, aku ada 34% lagi. Rugi ok kalau tak guna, dah la speed laju. kalau boleh carry forward takpe jugak.

Tadi aku letak status kat facebook, "anak dara bersiap memang lambat, kesian laki aku tunggu lama". I was referring to kereta aku yang hantar workshop dari pukul 11.30 pagi tadi tapi sampai sekarang tak siap2 lagi. Orang tu kata pukul 3 dah siap, tapi tadi aku call hint, dia kata kena tunggu lagi. Jadi aku pos status sedemikian. Sebelum tu aku pos status "rasa nak membongkang sepanjang hari, tapi macam nak berjalan pun ye jugak". Mungkin status tersebut macam ada kaitan. Mari kita kaji lagi apa yang berlaku seterusnya.

1st komen from my dearest shopping partner tiap2 kali kitorang pergi debat dan junior debat aku jugak, dorang ingat i was referring anak dara to myself. Harusss la aku nak gelak. Btw, budak2 debat ni kalau dorang nak melaser pun aku tak kesah sebab we are CLOSE and we talk that way. =)

Tiba-tiba muncullah seorang hamba Allah (yang mana memang kalau setiap kali dia komen kat status aku, ayat dia tu memang asyik nak cari pasal je.) Dia komen "habis kalau asyik berFB ja, bila nak siap oi.." Kau dah la taktau hujung pangkal, bahasa tu elok sikit boleh? Mana kau tau aku asyik berfB, kau stalk aku? setiap benda aku komen kau follow satu-satu. Fuhhh terus aku berapiiiiiiiiii.......

Aku kerja harini balik rumah pukul 2pm. Sampai rumah aku terus on laptop, sementara nak tunggu dia loading aku tukar baju. Aku update status, lepas tu terus masuk dapur, masak. Sementara tunggu benda atas kuali masak, aku basuh kain. Walaupun guna mesin auto, nak tunggu air penuh, nak ambik baju, nak letak sabun, semua tu MASA. Sementara tunggu nasik pulak masak, aku reply status lepas tu duduk dapur balik. Lepas tu bukak mesin tambah softener sebab nak rinse. Nasik masak, aku cedok dan makan. By 3.30pm nasik lauk semua dah masak, baju dah basuh, perut dah kenyang. Lepas tu aku update status. Bagitau celah mana yang aku asyik berfacebook, hah?...

Pastu ada pulak hamba Allah tak tau dari celah mana boleh approve jadi member aku pergi like komen si hamba Allah, dengan emo-nya, terus aku remove dari frenlist. Padan muka kau. Malas betul aku hidup dikelilingi manusia yang negatif ni. I know its a small thing tapi to do that kind of small thing, boleh tak pakai otak? Paling tak pun kalau kau tak tau apa satu, pakai hati boleh? Komen tu cuba jangan menyakitkan hati orang. Tak cool pun.

Dan btw, aplikasi Internet bukan terhad kepada facebook sahaja, ngok. Refer kepada perenggan 1, aku ada 5GB sebulan. Maka bodohlah kalau aku gunakan 5GB tu semua untuk FB. Sama jugak macam kau, btw, aku rasa pakej ko lagi mahal kot. Sebab mmg aku dah survey, wimax yg aku amik ni je pakej paling murah compared to service provider yang lain. Dan dari kau asyik stalk aku, baik pergi baca pasal politik ke, resipi ke, sukan ke. Kalau aku tanya kang, tau tak EURO jumaat ni England, Germany dgn Italy satu group, iaitu group B? Aku pun baru tau semalam sebab aku guna INTERNET (bukan FACEBOOK). Sebab kau suka assume, aku pun nak assume jugak mesti kau tak tau. Tu la, subscribe internet asyik main fesbuk baca gosip2 artis jadi macam ni la. Jadi Joyah.

Tu tak tau aku ada blog tu, kalau tau, pastu tengok aku update tiap2 hari ingat aku takde kerja jugak lagi. Update blog pun tak sampai 1/2 jam. So kalau aku bukak tab lain, blog ke, google benda2 lain ke, naik je notification facebook, terus reply la. Bukan mengadap facebook baca status satu2, baca komen atas bawah. Kau ingat aku takde kerja? Lagipun, taip status dan reply status seminit je kot, bukan 4 jam.

Ok dah. puas hati aku selepas meluah perasaan. Lain kali sebelum jadi bongok, tolong pikir 18 kali. Bye.

sunday

2011-11-27T18:36:00.000+08:00

Aku selalu tengok status "bosan", "boring" bla bla on weekend. Aku macam terpana sebab seriously aku tak pernah bosan bila ada internet. You can do anything with it, you can learn, you can read, you can watch documentaries on you tube, download lagu, you can see countries you've never been, macam macam. Sebab tu aku macam pelik bila orang ada internet komplen dia bosan. Aku boleh hidup dalam keadaan hari hujan, hint kerja, astro "service currently not available" asalkan internet ada. Tapi bila "hari hujan, hint kerja, astro "service currently not available" dan wimax berkelip2 cari coverage, memang aku rasa adoi matilaaaaaa.....

The best thing to do bila bosan mungkin tidur. Masalahnya aku pulak bukan manusia tidur petang dan bangun pukul 12 tengah hari sebab aku rasa tidur hanya untuk recharge dan bila sakit kepala sahaja. Sebab dulu masa form 2 ada satu latihan matematik. Soalan dia : Umur Ali 43 tahun, sepanjang hidupnya, ali menghabiskan 56% untuk beraktiviti. Berapa tahunkah yang ditelah dihabiskan oleh Ali untuk tidur? Dah kira? Jawapan dia 18 bulan. Masa tu aku terpikir ya rabbi, hidup 43 tahun, 18 tahun dihabiskan untuk tidurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr??? Terus lepas tu nak tidur pikir 40 kali. Terima kasih pembuat soalan.

Ai memang suka amik gambar candid laki i tengah tido. Masa ni pukul 1.30, dia terbongkang lepas makan nasi kandaq.

Ni aku tak tau la bila, tau2 jumpa dalam henfon tadi. Nampaknya gaya tido laki bini memang sama.

And the very best thing about internet, you can google recipesssssssssss...Yes darling, i loveeee cookingggg.. Right now i'm addicted to laura in the kitchen. Tiap2 hari mesti nak tengok video masak dia. Haritu masa aku tengah tengok tanpa henti hint cakap, tengok je tapi takde semangat buat apa.. I was like "eh ape plak tak semangat?" Dia cakap, tak salin resepi pon. Adoi, penat je nak salin, baik angkut laptop kat dapur pastu masa nak buat tu kang, baca je lah. Kan?? Nah, my sunday meal - inspired by google.

Aku rasa nak gelak pon ada. Kang hint balik bukak tudung mesti dia lagi gelak.

Initially nak buat ayam lemon tapi lemon takde jadi aku blasah pakai limau kasturi + limau nipis.
Rasa lebih kurang sama. Aku asingkan ayam dengan sauce dia sebab senang nak ratah sauce tu nanti. =P

Lemon sauce (blasah la lemon pun walaupun pakai lime). Sumpah sedap! Bukan sedap sebab perasan aku buat, sedap sebab recipe yang orang tu bagi amatlah tepat. Rasa macam makan kat kedai. Ni je semangkuk yang tinggal, semangkuk lagi gua dah ratah.

benda alah ni aku tiru dari sini. Letak mayonise lagi sedap kot. Ok dah bye.

Ok bye. Hint dah balik.

extra terrestrial

2011-11-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

O damn. I really want to move, but everytime I moved or when I be quiet for quite some time, mesti akan ada this one person email me and asked for this "sheisthumbelina" link. Kau dah kenapaaaaaaaaaaaa? Pergi la create link lain yang ko nak sangat link ni kenapaaaa? Tak paham betul la.

I am sitting when typing this. Whats wrong with that? Nothing is wrong, its just that I am sitting on my bed because I dont know where to sleep. This 176cm with 78kg badang conquered all over the place. Dia punya gymnastik akustik nasib baik tak sampai tahap pacak kaki kat tingkap.

Ok aku sangatla mengantuk sekarang. Nak gerak tak sampai hati. Ada 2 pilihan ja.

1) Memaksa beliau ketepi.

2) Amik tilam lain dan tido.

Ok sekarang aku dah type sambil baring pulak. Teka aku pilih yang mana? Selaku isteri mithali, harus aku pilih yang kedua. Amik tilam lain dan tido. Baiknya aku kan...

............Sebenarnya takla baik jugak,sebab tadi aku dah snap 4 keping gambar dia tido dengan aksi bebas kuak lentang kuak terkangkang semua ada. Tunggu nak gelakkan dia kaw kaw je esok pagi. Eh upload facebook pun enak ni.. Haha.

A NEW SHELTER

2011-11-13T14:24:00.000+08:00

Hello darlings, after 3 years and 8 months writing here, I think I need a new place. The new home is still under construction but I've done sorting my entries from March 2008. Attached my wedding blog and yada2. All in. That blog is actually tribute to my little velvet when I was pregnant. So pls bear with the 1st picture (of a lady holding a baby) though i have none. I actually want to move in January 2012, right after completing my 2nd trimester tapi takde rezeki kan. I was thinking to ignore that page tapi to think of how hard playing with coding to make everything in place, rasa macam alahaiii, sayang pulak nak biar. A part of me still force me to wait until January, but the excitement of having new layout, colours etc rushed me to move there now. Plus, there tonnes of sad stories here. And i think i should leave all the tears behind. Life must go on, kan?

So lets move to the new page darlings.. Promise this is the last one! =)

http://sheisathumbelina.blogspot.com

Because we are the slave of your money

2011-11-13T10:32:00.000+08:00

I hate cimb to the max. Their services are sucks. I bought my car 3 years back - Mac 2009, it almost 3 years now. Dulu, zaman-zaman kad atm cuma seketul, dan tak reti nak online banking, monthly installment semua bayar manual. tulis kat resit, pastu tunggulah turn kau sampai. Takde masalah pun sampailah Februari 2010. Masa tu aku duduk kat gelang patah, and access to the bank agak susah la jugak. Masa tu hint belikan modem broadband, dan mulalah aku bayar kereta melalui online banking. Then masa bulan 3, 1st time nak renew roadtax. Sebab kereta beli kat Kelantan, aku ingat renew roadtax kena buat kat Kelantan. (Aku baru tau dlm 2 bulan lepas, nak renew kat current location pun boleh T_T)Sebab dulu masa study kat Terengganu, aku tgk kak yla nak renew roadtax kena balik Negeri Sembilan, Awin pun kena tunggu roadtax dari bapak dia kat Perlis. So masa dorang call untuk tolong renewkan roadtax, aku on je. Tapi installment mode. Aku dah tanya, kena bayar asing ke boleh bayar sekali dengan bayar duit kereta? Dia cakap boleh bayar sekali. Payment start end of April.

Tau2, bulan Jun dia hantar surat cakap kereta tertunggak 3 bulan. Otak kau. Aku call cimb check semua, dia cakap oh rupanya dia kata yg tertunggak tu installment roadtax, system dorang tak catch up utk separatekan payment. Payment utk kereta ada extra rm500 padahal tu duit roadtax sebenarnya. Dah tuuuuuu masa aku tanya kau cakap boleh? Lepas tu bulan 9 jadi lagi. Dekat2 nak raya pulak tu. Siap hantar surat lawyer kena bayar, pastu ada lawyer fee RM1K. Kau gila?? End up aku tak balik raya kat Kedah tahun tu sebab nak settlekan pasal surat tu. Dah la CIMB punya hire purchase tu kat BBU. Bila aku pergi, explain everything, then dia cakap ignore je surat lawyer tu sbb aku betul. Wtf? Kalau aku ni bongok2 percaya, tak burn bayar rm1000? Aku dah geram, aku terus clearkan roadtax tu.

2011, masa nak kawen, i chose to buat installment roadtax again, padahal duit roadtax dah standby ni, aku risau duit kawen tak cukup masa tu. Dengan harapan servis dah bagus la. End up, masa balik Kelantan raya puasa haritu, ada lagi surat sampai. With same problem. Dah satu hal nak kena pergi BBU lagi. This time aku mintak statement, dengan muka kerek, clerk tu cakap kena bayar RM10 takpe? Kau ingat aku miskin? Bila aku tengok statement tuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...........

1- Setiap surat yang dia hantar will be charged RM 11.60

2- Every 3 months ada payment apetah around RM40+. Aku pun tak paham. Siap ada yang dia dah tolak rm40, pastu dia tambah balik. Macam ehhh bukan bulan ni yang kena tolak. Can be seen obviously kat column debit credit dia tu. Yang ditarik dari duit yg kau bayar kereta bulan2.

3- So maksudnya bila sampai je bulan ke-3, duit kereta aku akan short, masa tu lah dia akan hantar surat cakap duit kereta tak bayar sebulan. Dah tu bukan satu surat. Satu minggu tu ada 3 surat. RM11.60 X 3? Dah RM 30+. Tu kalau 3. Dia hantar lebih daripada tu.

3- Setiap online payment yang aku buat, walaupun CIMB to CIMB, will take 6 working days baru dia deduct

4- Ada sekali tu, aku bayar 3/5, deduction dia 17/6.

RM10 statement tu sgt worth it untuk tengok mana duit yang aku bayar tu pergi.

Masa tu surat sampai bulan 8. Please take note raya 30/8. And semalam dia call lagi cakap sebulan tak bayar, its november darling, ngam2 3 bulan lepas bulan 8 tu. duit kereta aku rm367, tapi monthly mmg aku akan genapkan rm400. cemana boleh cakap aku tak bayar? bodohnyeeee...Ke ada hidden charge kalau buat online banking yang rm40 tu? After few discussion, aku cakap dengan hint aku dah tak kuasa turun naik hire purchase kat BBU tu sebab aku tau aku betul. And I kept all the transaction receipt with me - softcopy la.

Yang aku pelik tu, bulan aku bayar kat atm machine CIMB kot. takkan lembap jugak nak deduct. So hint cakap, lepas ni bayar balik manual macam dulu. Ok, next month we'll see. tengok bulan 2 nnt dia call lagi tak.

CIMB dengan CELCOM. Dua-dua sama bodoh. CIMB Islamic konon.

Paradise and Ice Cream Sky

2011-11-07T15:44:00.030+08:00

I always wanted a getaway since I miscarried. I want to go as soon as possible but knowing the flight tix, lagi dekat dengan tarikh, lagi mahal la weh. Nak murah pulak kena book 6-10 months early, whoaaa berjanggut. With no boss around, i mingle between dates and tix fee. Mostly on Feb-Mac. When I found a cheap tix, i would google what does the city have. And I found in love with this place. RM133 return tix, all in. Beaches. Good food. Nice date.

And we'll be leaving on February.
3 months from now, just like how I want it. =)

RAIN OVER ME

2011-11-06T22:24:00.003+08:00

Bilakah kali terakhir korang rasa gila bayang terhadap artis? Ye, artis. Gila bayang sampai rasa ooooooo nak kawen dengan diaaaaaaaa.. walaupun hakikatnya kau tau ianya adalah MUSTAHIL tapi jauh di sudut hati, korang masih tetap menaruh harapan. Mine was 11 years ago. Gila bayang nak mati dengan Bryan Westlife. Aku rasa dia jejaka paling hensem dalam dunia. Masa tu aku tingkatan 2, aku nakkkkk la sangat kawen dengan dia. Kalau tahun tu aku SPM, confirm SPM straight A's sebab nak sambung study kat Dublin dan jumpa dia.Aku tak boleh tengok dia langsung, walaupun dalam surat khabar, terus aku histeria "aaaaaaaaaa, bryannnnnnnnnn!!!" Sehingga begitu sekali, tapi lepas heboh dia bercinta dengan Kerry Atomic Kitten. Aku sangat kecewa. Terus aku cuba bunuh perasaan nak kawen dengan dia. Bagi aku, dia dah curang dengan aku. Dan hati aku bukan untuk dipermainkan oleh lelaki curang.. Gitewwwww....

Selepas Bryan, dah takde artis lagi dah yang dapat membuka pintu hati aku. Kalau ada pun, Hariz dalam novel Ombak Rindu tu. tu pun laki orang, laki Izzah pulak tu. Aku cuma rasa nak kawen dgn orang macam dia, tapi part dia menggatal tu aku rasa nak bunuh la jugak. Lain2 artis, aku sekadar suka tengok sahaja. Cth, Aaron Aziz sebab aku rasa dia samseng paling cool dalam dunia (KL Gangster). Pastu aku suka Botak juvana, sebab watak dia dalam Cinta Elisa. Walaupun aku benci gila dengan Fasha Sandha, aku tgk jugak. Bukan sebab aku suka Botak, tapi aku suka watak dia. Ataupun Adi Putra, sebab watak Jai dalam KL Gangster tu memang sangat mengagumkan. Plus, tiba2 badan dia katang. Macam just nice dgn watak dia. Setakat tu saja. Gila bayang tu tak la.

Cakap pasal badan, aku cukup jeles kalau Hint cakap badan orang lain lawa (artis la). Sampai bergaduh2 pun pernah dengan dia. Yelah, gua dah la katik, tak sexy, lu puji pompuan lain, tinggi, solid. gua jeles la.. Aku tak kesah sangat pun kalau dia nak puji sebenarnya, sebab aku pun akui kadang2 badan dorang memang cantik. Tapi kalau dia puji orang yang tak dapat persetujuan aku, aku marah la especially yang sengaja mengexykan. Sebab pompuan kalau dah sexy tayang2 macam tu, memang pompuan gatal, aku tak suka. Macam aku cakap dlm entry lepas, tau ada aset, nak tayang2 memang aku pangkah la. Tambah pulak kalau muka budget sexy macam Mimi One Nation Emcee, dah la hodoh, dulu gemuk plak tu. Dah kurus perasan plak.. Relax2 macam maria farida sudah. Macam Shakira ke, atau Letty Fast & Furious. Tu aku ok.

Aku pulak, tak pernah rasa seorang lelaki tu sexy. Bryan dulu pun aku rasa tak.Brad Pitt pun tak. Aku suka sebab suka je. Sebab aku pun tak tau nak describe laki sexy tu macam mana. Aaron Aziz ke Adi Putra ke Botak ke, aku lebih suka watak yang dia bawak. Sampai la ke satu hari, masa tu aku tengok hits tv dengan hint, tiba2 keluar lagu Rain Over Me. Selalu dengar kat radio je, memang la sedap lagu tu tapi tak pernah pulak tengok videoclip dia. Sekali aku tengokkkkkkk, ya Rabbi..............

KENAPA MARC ANTHONY SEXY SANGAT NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII???

Berdebar-debar aku rasa masa tu. Gilaaaaaaaaa! Dia tak buat apa2 pun, takde adegan cium2 pun. Dia tak bukak baju pun. Scene dia goda2 orang pun takde. Dia cuma nyanyi dan menari sikit je.. Tapiiiii they way He dressed up, his voice, his movement, is tooooo sexy sampai berdebar aku rasa bila tengok dia. Seriously! I dont know how to describe, he is sexy in his own way, bukan terdedah tunjuk body macam pompuan. In fact, dia siap pakai baju 2 lapis kot, kemeja dengan kot ke bleazer ke apa2 la. Dah la lagu tu memang sedap. Aku rasa macam jatuh cinta kali pertama. Padahal berpuluh lagu dah yang dia nyanyi aku dengar dari sekolah menengah, video clip dia aku tengok. Tapi ni 1st time in my whole life I can describe a man as sexy. Rasa Grrrrrrrrrrrr.... Sapa setuju dengan aku, cepat angkat tangan. Ini rahsia pompuan2 sahaja =D

Anugerah TV Pendidikan

2011-11-05T00:29:00.002+08:00

I never post an entry of Anugerah Skrin, but this year I have to.

1- Ally Iskandar & Rozita Che Wan?? Are you guys kidding? Macam tengok MHI and Fesyen Show. Aku paling benci la bila orang buat lawak syok sendiri + budget cun, I mean walaupun kau rasa kau cantik ataupun kau memang cantik, tak payah la nak control2 ayu. If there is any Datok pun, semuanya dah kerepot. And yes, lelaki pendek sebelah pompuan tinggi looks so cacat. Why dont you choose Sharifah Amani ke Liyana Jasmay yang more sesuai in height kalau nak sangat Ally Iskandar tu.Tapi sungguh la, in such event, we need somebody yang memang pandai melawak. Ni bukan pembentangan budget negara. Ni hiburannnnnnnn. Hiburan needsssssss laughterrrrrrrr! I think Chef Wan can do better than him. Sakit otak.

2- Sexy is when you know you have an asset, but you let it be sexy naturally. I prefer Lofa during high school. I dont care about her controversial issues, dari sekolah pun macam tu. Yes, she looks gorgeous as always, tapi... can you pls stop mendada? And I am sick to see Kilafairy (whatever her name is) dok terjuih-juih. Pftt!

3- I love Umie Aida sejak dari zaman2 dia berlakon drama2 Mohd Noor Kadir, especially Romeo & Juliet with Ahmad Idham. She deserves all the awards she won. And Airmata Nur Salina, it was the best drama ever. Especially when it came to the scene Remy Ishak let Adi Putra raped her. =(

4- Remy Ishak is not my favourite, sebab errrrr, dia tak hensem. But I love his acting, especially in the early episodes of Nur Kasih. And to know he is in a relationship with Tiz Zaqyah, its beautiful.. Kalau dijadikan watak dalam novel, memang sepadan dah.

5- When I heard the rumours of Ombak Rindu the movie (you know how I love the novel to death since I was 16?), I could only think of Tiz Zaqyah as Izzah. Can you imagine Aaron Aziz and her? *cair*. Everytime I see her on tv, mesti aku akan cakap dekat hint, eiiiiii cantiknya dia ni.. eeiiiii cantiknya dia niiiii.. akurasa hint bosan dah kot. I love her from the 1st day I watch Nur Kasih last 2 years, but no award for her. I am sad.

6- Ferhad dan menyanyi sambil kangkang memang tak dapat dipisahkan.

7- I love Izara! I love her as Fiona, I love her on the stage. She looks natural all the way. Thats what I like.

8- I never thought Awie can be that funny. When I first saw him in Zombie Kampung Pisang, I was like "ya Rabbi, he can act like thissss?? Sengalnyaaaaaa..where was Awie in Sembilu?" Its totally different. Btw, tadi aku berharap sangat Erra menang award, semata-mata nak tengok how would they react. Tapi hampa =(

9- If I were the audience, this is the longest 2 hours in my life. Kau tengok berapa ramai yang tepuk tangan tadi? Macam upacara pengebumian pun ada.

10- Of all ugly things about ASK 2011, the ending still makes me smile from ear to ear bila tengok Liyana Jasmay nyanyi dengan Tomok. Tomok adalah jugak tidak hensem dan bukan taste ai, suara dia pun, biasa2 saja.. tapi his smilessss towards Liyana Jasmay tadiiiiiiii, it was like a dart to my heart. He smiles like she is the most beautiful girl alive, he smiles like he loves nothing else but her. He smiles like i am deeply happy to have u, i love everything about you. He smiles like he is appreciating her for being there for him. I am not exaggerating, but that was what I felt when I saw that part. Masa tu aku rasa bini Tomok laaaaaa bini yang paling bahagia kat duniaaaaaaa... Boleh?

Aku kalau bab2 rasa lovely lovely macam ni memang pantang sikit. Grrrrrrrr..

SK II

2011-11-03T21:40:00.001+08:00

Money is something that is hard to get but easy to lose. And it is frustrating to know that all of us is depending on it. We rather work during weekends for the sake of money, we rather be separated for a high pay. It cant buy love, yes. It cant buy your ex girlfriend who doesnt love you anymore. But, who are we without money? We have no choice =(! I am a person who would think 10-40 kali when it comes to buy a premium products. And to buy a product yang boleh menampung sebulan installment kereta is a big NO. Cheapskate? Yes, I am. Unless kalau benda tu memang akan pakai lama, macam jam tangan. Sebab tu masa nak cari jam hantaran kawen haritu, aku google habis jam yang aku berkenan, pastu MESTI beli yang tu jugak.

Then it was early last year, when my skin became so buruk after I moved to Johor. Blackheads are everywhere, liang roma besar gedabak, pigmentation, macam2 la. Then hint suggested to try SK-II. I was like, haaaaaaaaaaa?? Dont you know how much it'll costttttttt? He knew I wont accept his idea, so he said we make it for hantaran, tu pun I was still 50-50. I cant stand the price, nak singgah dekat booth dia pun takut. One day, we went to Holiday Plaza, looking around and suddenly hint dengan penuh confident, berenti dekat booth SK-II. Nak pengsan aku rasa. We were lucky, we got a set for wedding which was hide behind the counter, dalam almari, belah bawah sekali. Jauh lebih murah from the display set, tapi masih mampu untuk membayar sebulan kereta. Tanpa berfikir 2 kali, hint terus beli. Oh gila!

The one I bought.

Mask dah guna. Pitera & clear lotion tak sampai separuh pun lagi.

Right after reception, terus pakai. Jakun noxx. 1st month, tak berkesan pun. Samaaaa ja! So I stopped using the Pitera. Yelah, dah la mahal, pastu tak jalan, baik berenti, tak rela aku nak berkomitmen. Then, whenever people are talking about SKII, I am the 1st one to say NO. So was the 2nd month, sampailah bulan 9 yang lepas, aku pakai jugak walaupun actually dah give up.Aku rasa nak pakai Sebamed je balik. Murah pun murah. The only thing that hold me to stick with its facial foam is, pakai sikit seco'et je dah cukup untuk satu muka. So aku pakai je la facial foam tu tanpa perasaan sebab taknak membazir. Facial foam je, yg lain perap dalam almari.

Until one day in October (ye, bulan lepas), miracle appears. Bila hint tegur, eh muka awak macam makin ok je, kulit pun lembut.Lepas tu aku pun belek la muka tiap2 hari kat cermin. And yes, no more blackheads, liang roma pun dah kecut, pigmentation reduced. Then I realized, SKII mula menjalankan tanggungjawabnya. So whenever iklan SKII keluar, I am the one yang excited sebab it works on me. I believe pompuan2 lain pun akan berperasaan sedemikian. Ok mungkin kulit aku tebal macam kulit biawak, that's why it took 5 months. Mungkin it works from inside, sbb tu effect kat luar lambat.

When I calculated the amount I used over time, I think SKII worth the price. My 100gm facial foam ada separuh lagi even dah guna 5 months, and I guess it can last until the next 5 months. Aku tak tau harga individual berapa, sebab haritu beli set, tapi aku rasa 100gm tu worth rm150 jugak kot, so katalah 100gm tu tahan 5 bulan, rm150/5 baru rm30/month. Cuma aku harap kalau ada org2 di luar sana yang nak try, aku harap kulit korang taklah sebiawak kulit aku. Penat kot nak tunggu 5 bulan baru berkesan. Ke korang ada brand lain yang bagus untuk dicuba tapi jauh lebih murah? Eh tadi bunyi macam dah tak cheapskate dah, hihi =P

I love you, you and you.

2011-11-02T22:20:00.001+08:00

That's how I express I love hint, the 1st baby and the 2nd one before.

I don't know how to express my feeling. Sometimes I feel happy. Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes I think I am ok, sometimes I think I am not. Sometimes I am ok when people talking about their baby, sometimes I can be too sentitive. My colleague in Taman U, Kak Far who'd lost one of her fallopian tube due to ectopic pregnancy finally get pregnant after 7 years. Allahuakbar, I am in tears upon hearing that. I am so happy for her. She's 4 weeks pregnant now. It's still early, the baby inside is still small, but knowing you are carrying a baby inside you, it is a very beautiful feeling especially to those with such history. I love the moment when I accidently saw Kak Far touched her tummy, in her thankful face. In my heart i said, I was in her shoes before. And I understand how she feels.

Wish a good morning to the little one when I woke up, told her that I wanted to pray, wish Allah grant us a good health. Even during the last two weeks (which I already knew I would lost them), I still touch my tummy while driving and said, this is the jalan that I took to my office for the last 3 months,with you. I am not sure how should I feel, but one day when you are no more inside me, I would remember having you accompany me here and there. And yes, until today, I miss to carry them inside me. I miss those morning sickness to which I would say "Be good baby, be good". I dont know to whom should I cried this things out but 3 months is not a short time. On the day kak far told me she's pregnant, she said :

"Haritu fiza (our another colleague who gave birth last 2 months) dah pass baton kat akak masa dia peluk akak sebelum bersalin. Nanti akak peluk She pulak.."

Guess how I feel? Sedih, terharu, happy, all mixed up. There is a time when you need someone who understands your feeling without you telling them. And there is also times when you hope others can treat you like nothing happened. Bercerai hidup dan bercerai mati are two different things. Lebih sakit jika yang mati itu darah daging kita sendiri. I miss you two, darlings. So much.

the place you should be

A tree is known by its fruit

2011-10-30T11:03:00.001+08:00

Maya and Anis (my youngest sis-in-law) had done some research before they came here. Patut la aku macam pelikkk je apehal dorang ni asyik tanya "kak she rumah kak she kat mana?" Aku pun jawab je lah JB. Pastu dorang tanya pulak jalan apa etc. Rupanya dorang dah survey tempat yang buat macaroon area sini. Dekat jalan Permas 1. Aku pun tak tau. Lepas amik dorang dari Larkin, aku pun pergi kerja and google the page they said. I gave the owner a call from office and she said normally it takes 2 days after we placed an order jadi aku tanya takde ke yang dah siap. Dia cakap ada. Cuma big-sized la. 2 inches. Aku pun on je. Tapi biasanya dia akan jumpa customer dekat Jusco Permas. I thought boleh hantar kat rumah so surprise la sikit kan. Sobs. Since I worked tengah2 JB and to go there after working hours harus menempuh jammed yang super hectic, I asked hint to pick up for me. So I ordered 2 box of macaroons for them. 1 box actually dia ckp 6 pcs. Pastu aku cakap "eh, saya tengok dekat blog ada dia cakap satu box ada 7's?" (Betul ok, tak tipu). Dia kata "Oh, ni sebab kita dah tambah size dia." Aku pun cuba nasib lagi. "Tak boleh penuhkan box tu ke?" End up, dia letak 1 box 8 pcs. So always try you luck bunnies! Dalam telefon aku berani la, kat luarrrr, jangan harapppp....

The taste? Manis gilosss. =(

Since it was raining heavily when they came, and there was nowhere to bawak jalan2, hint and me decided to bring them to KSL City. There's a stall called *alamak aku lupa nama dia apa-malas nak cari resit dalam purse* yang jual frozen yogurt jauh lebih sedap dari Tutti Frutti and Jco. The price? Wayyyy cheaper!

Real fresh fruit (blended) + frozen yogurt on top + 3 toppings = RM 12.90. No tax.

Kalau yang biasa aku dgn hint amik. Frozen yougurt (penuh macam cup atas tu) with 3 toppings rm9.90 je.

The texture is super fine, topping dia letak banyak gila, tak kedekut macam Jco. Iklan je over.

My fav pics so far. Hint's piece. Bukit Indah.

Dan bila aku yang amik, haruslah hodoh dan tak jadi. Takpe next time cuba lagi she. Ni semalam, dekat tebrau city. Tengah hari nanti nak hantar kakwa and amrul balik KL. Kak wa cakap ingat kot melawat orang dalam pantang tampal2 serbuk kat dahi, dok bertungku ke hape. Ni haaa, siap bawak jln2.Hehe.Pasni lepas semua balik, maka kembalilah hidup berdua-duaan. T_T

Butterfly in the jelly belly

2011-10-27T02:39:00.001+08:00

Its 2.15 am and I'm still here, edit slides for training esok. Sebenarnya aku tak suka bawak kerja ofis balik rumah. Tapi sebabkan cuti Deepavali, lepas tu aku tak cukup hari sebab kena submit esok, maka terpaksa jugak buat kat rumah. Aku ni kalau boleh bila sampai rumah, aku taknak pikir apa-apa dah pasal kerja. Yang aku tau, bila aku balik, aku nak makan, nak main internet, bergurau senda dengan laki, bermalas-malasan dan tido dengan nyaman.Namun apakan daya.

Hint's mom, dad and his 2 younger sisters are on their way from Kelantan. Untuk melawat si nervous yang masih dalam pantang tak pantang sangat ni. Dorang mungkin sampai pukul 7 pagi nanti. I am super nervous, because this is the 1st time rumah dilawati tetamu dan tetamu tu pulak mak mertua sendiri. Tadi aku tanya hint, "abg, kalau dengan ayah abang kan lepas kawen dah boleh salam, maksudnya nanti kalau dia datang rumah, boleh tak pakai tudung tak?" Confuse plak. Sebab kalau kat KB memang pakai la dalam rumah pun dah abang dia, adik laki dia semua ada. Pastu hint jawab "Takpe, pakai je.." Ahahaha, aku baru je ingat nak mengelat tak nak pakai tudung, heeeeeeeee~ =P

Bulan ni rezeki gaji aku naik, then tadi hint cakap, maybe bulan depan turn dia pulak.. Upon hearing the figure, i was like omaigoddddddd this is so cool! Tuhan tu maha adil kan?, diambil yang ini, dia bagi rezeki dalam bentuk lain pulak. And I? Accepting all things that has been written. Allah always know whats the best for us - that makes me never fail to put my faith in Him. Alhamdulillah..

If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend

2011-10-26T11:21:00.003+08:00

Dear Naja, you must no idea of how i felt when i 1st read your comments dan tak reply2 pun komen tu sampai hari ni. Sebab komen kak ja aku dah reply kat facebook tu pun. And I wonder if you and kak ja ever realize the entry I wrote over a year ago. Mula-mula aku tengok nama kat comment tu "Noor". Aku terpikir Noor mana ni?..Masa aku komen tu, i was ok je, sebab aku macam tak boleh pikir spa la "Noor" ni, tapi when it comes to the last 4 words.

"I love you - Naja".

Terus tumpah airmata. I love you are 3 common words, but when it comes together with your name, boleh rasa macam perkataan tu dengan sedalam-dalam maksud, datang dari hati kau, terus melekat kat hati aku. Rasa nak lari balik Terengganu, nak peluk ko, nak nangis puas-puas. Rindu gila life dulu. Ingat dulu kita pernah borak, kau cakap "kalau takde orang nak kawen dengan aku she, aku nak bukak kandang kambing la, buat bisnes." Memang aku gelak gila sebab lawak, but I understand what you felt. Sebab aku pun rasa macam tu jugak, rasa macam sedihnya bila tau kita memang tak dapat hidup dengan orang yang kita cinta. Mengharap pada benda yang kita tau takkan jadi.

And I said "rasa macam beruntung gila kan bila tengok orang yang dapat kawen dengan orang yang dia cinta." We were both broken-hearted at that time, we both agreed the best way to lose weight is putus cinta. But to deal with life after that, it was so hard, nobody could understand. Depan orang huha huha gelak, tapi bila sorang2, Tuhan je yang tau. I thank God for sending you. My brightest sunshine right when I need it. I was so happy to be your friend, I loved the moment when you were around. And now, we've left everything behind, all the sadness, all the stupid things, all the craps. We're living our new life now. I am happy to see you happy with your loved one. I am so glad you fall in love again. I am happy you have a better life. And me? End up with the same guy I love 4 years ago. Everything has changed. Alhamdulillah. We are no longer in that phase.

Thanx for being there 2 years ago dear, and thanks for being there again this time.

I love you, Naja. With all my heart.

Sincerely,
She

The day I let you go

2011-10-18T16:56:00.000+08:00

it was 5.45 pm, Sunday, 16 October 2011 when it happened. Baru lepas makan dengan mama kat luar. Sampai je rumah, nak turun kereta, tiba2 rasa sakit perut sangat. Pad memang dah pakai a week before lagi, takut apa2 jadi. Dalam 5 minutes later, rasa macam ada blood clot keluar, just like when we period, ada ketulan2 tu. i thought it was small like that. Sampai rumah, masuk toilet sebab rasa nak terkucil, but soon as i took off my panties.. the ketulan was BIG and suddenly there was a blood splash, all over the toilet floor. Terus aku menjerit "MAMAAAAAAA DARAH BANYAKKKKKK". And because I locked the master bedroom door, mama tak boleh masuk so she asked me from toilet yang dekat luar "Awak ok tak?" In tears I answered "Darah banyakkkkkkkk....." Mama asked me to unlock the door, but I told her not to come in. Mama jenis yang tak boleh tengok darah esp banyak gila macam tu.

The 1st blood clot. The smallest.

I didn't sms or call hint. I dont want him to be worried. Lagipun by 6 he usually dah on the way balik and it just took him 5 mins to be at home. The handphone was with me, i turned on the wifi and saw hint leave a message on my FB wall. He sent it around 4.30 pm and I read it at 6pm. I dont know why he sent it, but the moment I read it was really on the right time. I really need him.

Then at 6.10 pm he sent me a msg again "Abg isi minyak sekejap". I just replied "Takpe, adik tunggu". He must be no idea and I didnt realize when he came home. Tau2 dengar suara mama cakap dengan orang. I know its hint, less than 30 second, dia dah bukak pintu and saw me sitting with his towel on the floor. He didnt asked anything, I was the one who started the conversation "Adik bleeding.." He asked "Banyak ke?" Masa tu I dah pakai pampers (PAMPERS ok) and was sitting on the floor near my bed, so I just pointed the blood in the toilet. Tak boleh nak basuh sebab there was another ketulan and doctor dah pesan to bring the blood clots to hospital kalau bleeding. The moment he saw it, he just said "Ya Allah" and terus hugged me tight. He whisper to my ears "Adik, abg mintak maaf, abg tak jadi suami yang baik, abg mintak maaf abg tak jaga awak baik2, insyaAllah nanti ada rezeki lagi, abg mintak maaf banyak2.." And I? Cried and cried. It was not his fault. It was really not our rezeki. "Awak duduk je kat sini, abg siapkan barang, lepas maghrib kita terus pergi hospital,takut nanti awak pengsan sebab darah banyak keluar." Sumpah i was so banyak. And mencurah2.

Then I saw he walked in and out, took my towel, took my shirt, my undergarments, my pampers, my pink book, my purse, my charger, everything. Even after 7.30 i still bleeding. Taktau macam mana nak keluar. Then hint lapik seat kereta dengan plastic sampah yg hitam tu baru rasa comfortable nak masuk kereta. Masa tu sakit perut dah terlalu sakit dah. He asked me to recite few surah sepanjang perjalanan. Sampai je emergency, darah penuh kat seluar, sakit sangat sampai tak boleh jalan, he took wheelchair and I was sent to the emergency room. Sampai kat O&G, masuk toilet, tukar kain, masa tu keluar lagi blood clot ke 4 and it was the biggest ever. Mama and hint had to wait outside. I almost pitam, i hold the sink, unlock the door. I could collapse anytime. 4 minutes later, i force myself to hang on and terus pergi katil. No pampers at that time, blood stain are everywhere.

At that time, I prayed to Allah untuk mudahkan semuanya. It was the worst pain I ever felt, but I believe its one of the way Allah ampunkan dosa2 aku yang lain. The longer I felt the pain, the more I asked Allah to ampunkan all my sins. After all scans, seluk inside my vagina, doctor told me the baby was still inside, yang keluar was just the uterus wall. So they had to pull it out, sebab dah bleeding, nanti infection. With 30cm stainless steel forcep pulling things inside me and no bius, I thank God I didnt shout. There was 4 kali splashing, i'm not sure darah ke hape. I just keep quiet and bear with all the pain.

1 and 1/2 hour later, everything was cleared. I am officially not a pregnant women anymore, I officially lost my baby. All i can think of is to see my husband and cried in his arms. Syukur there was no complication, malam tu jugak boleh balik. All the way, he held my hand when I walked and hardly want to dukung me from kereta sampai masuk rumah, but I refused. For me, he had done so much dah. And that night, I slept with tears for losing my baby but I thank God for a great husband he lend me.. See you someday sayang, thanks for accompany me all these while. Ibu loves you.

If you were earthquake, then I am Bali

2011-10-15T21:20:00.002+08:00

1st, thanx efie and huda. I read both of you msg2 in tears, and I thank God for having you guys as my sisters. Thanx for the doa. I'm speechless, I cant even think a single word to reply. I am doing well physically but still fixing my emotion. Susah sebenarnya to force yourself to smile, to pretend you are when you are not. Both babies didnt survive. Had brown spotting few days ago, and i cried everytime i saw the spotting. Seeing your babies went out from your body little by little, what would you expect? I'm done with blood test, *thank God for such a great gynae* and it was decreasing. So I'll go back to O&G for d&C this tuesday. And expecting a whole week of medical leave so I can continue fixing my broken pieces.

On the other hand,

Hint's colleague asked hint over his facebook wall about twins. That person was not in my friend list so I wonder how could that person know about this? Because only closed friends and families knows, boleh kira pakai JARI, and Hint didnt tell anybody (famili dia pun aku nak bagitau kot) and if there were other people to know, they must be reading from my blog. BUT, how could they bumped into mine? *wondering* I dont mind if you are reading *whoever you are*, but since this is MY blog to which i am not inviting strangers to read, can you pls dont post whatever you read in my blog to facebook wall? Especially to my husband's wall. Please respect our privacy and sensitivity. If you post to my wall aku boleh terima lagi la kot, tapi hello, reading my blog and post it on my husband's wall? Can you please think back? I prefer and more appreciate those who asked direct to my inbox (handphone/facebook) or at my BLOG comments. At least, these people know how to think about my privacy, my emotion. This is where I speak up takkan sebab kau seorang aku nak kena privatize blog? Please la. Think twice. Suka ke kalau aku dapat tau from somewhere kau putus cinta then aku tanya terang2 kat wall awek kau KAU PUTUS CINTA KE? *oh pleaseeeeeeee*

I'm not being rude here, but somehow I think you should paham pasal isu-isu sensitif macam ni bukan suka2 hati kau boleh tanya kat tempat yang tak sepatutnya. If you want to double confirm, cant you just text or pm my husband instead of tanya kat wall macam tu? I am sad losing my babies and you think aku suka2 post kat sini? This is where I let my heart out. Kalau nak bagitau satu dunia, baik aku post dekat NOTES facebook tu je. One thing you should know, even we are married, both of us still have our own privacy. My husband is reading my blog, but did you see he comments anywhere? Its our other world. And we respect each other. You get it?

To make things worst,

And I'm super stress at work. Put you blame on me, and you count yourself as professional and critical thinking? Next time I get pregnant, I'll make sure i would stay away from you in my 1st trimester.

Oh my, lots of annoying things lately. Nak pecah kepala otak aku. Ni kalau kembar 3 ni mau gugur jugak yang sorang lagi. *i've already asked myself to bawak mengucap before i post this - nanti jadi isu pulak kalau tak letak disclaimer macam ni* Ok dah. nak try baju. 6 new baju in 2 weeks. See how stress I am.

A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and I, cannot live without you

2011-10-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

If everything is ok (we know its not), i am going to be 13 weeks this tuesday. But still, no bleeding. Not even an internal bleeding. Still having full breasts and harden tummy. As far as I concern, any woman who are miscarriage should at least has a dot of bleeding. But I'm not. Confusing kan? mama asked to do another upt but on second thought, after having some talk at the forum, we decided to go back to my gynae and buat blood test. which is tomorrow. At least, the results is 100% accurate, once its confirm, I can go next step. The faster I make the decision, the gap to conceive again - is lesser. Tak perlu nak risau kenapa tak bleeding, adakah its too small sampai heartbeat takleh detect, or if its not there, kenapa tak turun lagi. Hari2 aku tanya "are you still inside darlings, if yes, why they said you are not there, if not, why dont you come out and let me see you?" Don't ask me how i face this, it is so tough, you could never imagine.

Ok I bought banyak gila benda this week alone. On Saturday, got a new handphone (thanx love!), bought 5 baju on tuesday (3 for me, 2 for hint), bought a navy blue handbag (sukaaa) and a new kasut kerja. Nak apa lagi sheee? Nak gunting rambut! Ok I know rambut aku dah pendek dah (after 25years having such a long hair!), I just want to make it pendek sikitttttt je lagi macam ni..

Have I told you she is the hottest mom I ever seen?
I wish I will look like her in my 30's.

And she kicks Kate Perry to 2nd rank in my most adorable list. (^.*)v

There are no good-byes, no matter how far we are, you'll always in my heart

2011-10-04T14:30:00.000+08:00

At this moment, i have to say airmata memang dah tak ada dah. Seriously. Sebab dah banyak sangat nangis haritu. So whatever results or suggestion from gynae, semua aku redha je, siap boleh sengih2. Sampai mak aku tanya "awak tak sedih ke? mama dgn abah sedih gila sebab cucu 1st, tau kembar tapi tak survive".. Dia taktau anak dia dah puas nangis sampai lebam dah.

A&E. Ni semua visitors. Bising kot, macam2 bunyi ada.

Semalam pergi emergency, 5 jam queue baru sampai turn. Service sangat mengecewakan. Boleh tak dia refer balik aku ke KLINIK KESIHATAN in two weeks? Suruh klinik scan. Hello, aku patut dah kena pergi O&G kot. Balik tu, singgah Jusco Tebrau. Lapar weh tak makan nasik sebab takut terlepas turn. Sampai sana tiba2 hint tepuk2 blakang aku. pelik jugak aku, dah kenapa? rupanya nampak jCo. nak aiskrim la tu..

Iklan memang cantik. tapi yang real, hancuss. Pastu naik atas, makan unagiii, Sedappppp..Balik rumah, aku, hint dgn mama pancit gila. Bukan penat apa, penat tunggu kat A&E.

Pagi tadi borak2 dengan hint, takkan nak tunggu taknak take action langsung. Pastu terus mandi2, kitorang decide nak redah pergi O&G. Aku pun buat2 la sakit perut sikit, baru dorang bagi attention. Btw, O&G punya service mmg tiptop. Scan both abdominal and vagina. Ok, this time punya vagina scan sangat sakit. Since aku tak bleeding, dia masuk satu benda untuk tengok ada internal bleeding tak, benda tu pulak size M. then Dr tu (male, chinese) tanya nurse, ada S-size tak, nurse cakap takde. Hadoi, pasni dorang kena aware la kot, there's a patient yang maybe need an XS. pastu dia seluk. Sakit kauuuuuuu.

Btw, masa aku tggu turn nak scan tu, boleh dengar suara menjerit2 nak bersalin. Ada 3 suara, tiga-tiga menjerit. Aku dah gulp! Horror ok. As the results, the 2nd baby already engaged from uterus, alahaiii..while the 1st one still attach cuma dah ada blood clot. Dia bagi choice, nak tunggu natural bleeding ke nak terus D&C. tapi kalau terus D&C ada risk sikit. Aku pun keluar jap, tanya hint, then call boss aku, boss cakap tunggu, biar dia keluar sendiri. So aku bagitau doctor macam tu. Then he said, kalau in 2 weeks, no bleeding terpaksa D&C and the date adalah 18/10. Which means tendency utk sambut birthday kat hospital sangatlah tinggi sebab birthday aku 22/10. (T_T)

As for now, emotion all ok, cuma aku takut la weh nak tido wad. Siap dah cakap dengan hint, ai nak bilik sorang, want to feel at home, cewahhh taklah. Dah company cover kan kalau warded, baikla gunakan to the max. Takpelah, baru 25 pun kan, can try lagi nanti2. Cuma next time kena beware sikit la sebab dah ada history. Untuk tahun ni, cuti la kejap, simpan duit gi jalan2 jap. Aku dah cakap dengan hint nak gi bali. Haha, tengok tu, sempattttt.. InsyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki, who knows in future dapat twins lagi, kan? =)

Twice as much to love, two blessings from above

2011-10-02T16:56:00.000+08:00

It was kinda tough for me to face. And it becomes tougher to know that I'm actually carrying twins. Subhanallah.. Its your 1st pregnancy, your are carrying twins but the baby (Baby, not babies sebab satu je yang dah confirm) cannot survive. Salah ibunya yang body frame too small? Maybe I should just have one? Or blame the twin's genetic from their daddy's side? Taklah, Allah takkan uji hamba-Nya dengan ujian yang tak mampu kita hadapi. Ok, perkataan twins dan their tu sangat menyentap jiwa raga. Tell me, who dont want twins? I mean having twins naturally without makan ubat yang memang untuk ovari sekali ovulate keluar 2-3 ovum tu. Ni dah kira cukup bertuah dah. When the doctor bagitau there's twin inside and show the 2 sacs, dalam sedih2 tu ada rasa happy jugak sikit. Ya Allah, my two babies..

Since I knew it yesterday, tak boleh kira dah how many times I cried. Masa solat nangis, lepas solat masa hint baca doa nangis, tengok hint lama sikit nangis, makan nasik goreng daging masak merah kat jalal pun nangis, asal termenung sikit je nangis. But I challenge myself, if i can write things out, I am kuat. Its not easy to tell the world, you are miscarriage. Because you know, at this moment you just want to let go all your sadness and sometimes those kata-kata semangat buat kau rasa makin lemah. Tu yang deep inside, aku nak sangat hint peluk aku lama2, tell me not to worry, takde rezeki, but the more he says that, makin teruk aku nangis. Especially bila dia pegang2 kepala to calm me down. =(

The 1st baby has no heartbeat anymore even the actual size is ok. The 2nd one punya chances is too low. Because aku memang takde bleeding langsung, plus my pregnancy hormones is strongly positive and high, so I believe the 2nd baby must be struggle so hard to stay, with me..Ya Allah, kesiannya.

But for some reasons I read,
1)Allah turunkan ujian untuk maafkan dosa-dosa yang lepas, yang kita sedar, yang kita tak sedar. Dan kenapa diturunkan ujian kat dunia, sebab balasan dekat akhirat tu sangat berat yang mungkin kita takkan dapat tanggung. Kan Allah takkan bagi ujian yang tak mampu kita hadapi. Mungkin dia nak selamatkan aku balasan akhirat, jadi dia bagi ujian kat dunia. Dia dah tolong aku banyak dah ni. Instead of sedih, aku sepatutnya bersyukur kot dah diringankan dosa. Tu belum kira dapat keredhaan suami lagi.

2)Allah sayangkan aku, so He prepares the babies untuk tunggu aku kat syurga nanti. Hint pun cakap macam tu. And I have two babies who will wait for me up there untuk ke Jannah. Lagi, dia nak uji kita kita sama ada kita redha atau tak. Kalau kita redha, baiklah balasannya. Kalau tak, sebaliknya..

“Tidak ada pembalasan dari bagi seorang hamba-Ku yang percaya, jika Aku mengambil kekasihnya di dunia, kemudian ia ridha dan berserah kepada-Ku, melainkan surga ” (HR. Bukhari).

Who else la kekasih aku di dunia melainkan hint and our two lovelies? Mummy will surely sees both of you someday. So please pray for us down here, ok? Gila bengkak mata dah ni.

Roses

2011-10-01T18:42:00.001+08:00

Well, I guess this is the worst tears in 2011. The 1st person I called is my boss.Dia siap marah aku "She,be positive and there's nothing to be worried". And she calmed me down for thousands time.

An hour later,

Hint came home with happy smile. He bought me a new handphone - i admired most. Which i never expect.

I dont know how to react, but my eyes started berair dah. In return, i gave him a reference letter from a doctor. And I ended up lying on his lap - with tears again and again.

Maybe I should just prepare myself.
They said, if it comes back to us, it is ours.

If its not, then Allah loves you more than I do.

Bismillahitawakkaltualallah..

combo

2011-10-01T07:21:00.001+08:00

Berita baik right after aku solat Subuh and bukak facebook.

Alhamdulillah, take care ili =)

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job

2011-09-30T19:21:00.002+08:00

Benda yang paling aku nervous bila kena panggil mengadap directors. I mean all the directors dan HR officer dalam bilik tertutup. Dan aku paling tak suka bila kena tanya "ada apa2 nak issue selama awak kerja kat sini?" Dah terketar-ketar macam tu, mestilah tak ada. Takkan aku nak cakap "boleh tak saya transfer saya balik Permas? Taman U tu jauh gila kot. Permas 3km je dari rumah. Petang2 dah la banyak kereta kalau balik dari Taman U." Cakap dalam hati atau complaint dengan hint boleh la.

Tapi aku paling terharu bila boss aku cakap "you're my most patience staff, you are high tolerance, bla bla"

Lepas tu aku nampak ada satu envelope atas meja yang dah backdated 21st Sept 2011. Setahu aku, 21 haribulan pada setiap bulan adalah hari company aku close akaun untuk payroll. Erk??

Another confirmation letter and another salary revised.

Sapa tak suka oi, kalau kerja baru setahun gaji naik 2 kali?

Dah, jangan komplen2 lagi she. Duduk jelah taman U tu sampai lebam.

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same

2011-09-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

Minggu terakhir bulan 9 ni dah jadi macam minggu silaturrahim. 1st, attending Nad's wedding kat KL. Benda yang paling aku suka adalah meeting my girlfriends dekat rumah Amal. Kena tima kasih banyak2 kat Amal sebab sudi menjemput kitorang bertempiaran kat rumah dia, dengan makanan yang sedappppppp. Too bad tak sempat gi karaoke sebab dah mengantuk sangat. Jumpa korang lagi kat wedding Erin bulan 12 nanti. Tapi tamau tengok Piedart nangis2 dah. Rasa sedih sangat. Nasib baik aku duduk jauh sikit. Kalau tak mesti aku pun nangis sekali. =(. One thing aku ingat malam tu Erin cakap "Eiiii, laki Syahirah ni cakap banyakkkk la". Nak buat cemana weh, hahaha~

Then, Selasa malam, aku dengan hint gi makan nasi goreng seafood super sedap kat Stulang. Sebenarnya nak pergi Bukit Indah, tapi lepas siap2 smayang Isyak, dah la lapar, kitorang pergi la makan dulu. Pastu Hint bagi mandat pilih nak makan kat manaa, aku pilih la. Pastu pukul 10.30 pergi KSL. Sebenarnya nak gi bli charger sebab charger tertinggal kat rumah Kak Wa. Sekali sampai semua kedai dah nak tutup. Hampeh. Last choice, pergi Segget. On the way balik, Yazid call hint, ajak jumpa kat tepi The Zon. Boraklah berempat, aku, hint, yazid & cat. Cat banyak advice on pregnancy, what to do, whats not. Macam2 lah. Sumpah terharu...

Rabu malam, jumpa ex-officemates hint masa dia keja Jbiotech dulu, hana & zali. Location : Senibong. Cool jugak la, sebab dekat dengan rumah. Golek2 tengok Soffiya, lepas Isyak baru gerak. Dia punya package utk 4 orang dah tukar. Lagi banyak lauk + super murah compare dulu. Kalau dulu, nasi putih 4, tomyam campur, siakap 3 rasa (dah la seco'et), kangkung blacan dengan udang butter, RM96. This time punya, nasik putih 4, tomyam campur, siakap 3 rasa (super besar compare dengan dulu), ayam masak halia, kerang sambal, kangkung belacan dengan udang butter + air laici satu jug baru RM100. Semua sedap kecuali kerang dia. Tak luak pun. Bila hana cakap tak elok makan, aku macam pelik, kenapa eh tak elok. Pastu bila dia cakap kan filter feeder tu, baru terasa nak tepuk dahi. Ha ah la kannn. Sumpah tak terpikir langsung.

Mac 2010. Birthday Hint. BBQ Chicken Bukit Indah

Sept 2011. Birthday Zali. Senibong

Bila la laki aku nak boleh bela janggut balik. Togel sangat kot. (T_T)

Stands under my colours

2011-09-25T15:24:00.000+08:00

Hint punya gastric datang balik. 1st time kena masa bulan puasa tahun ni, after 25 years. After few weeks of symptom free, tau2 datang balik. Start bila dia pergi open house raya hari Ahad ke Isnin baru ni. Bawak balik ubat yang sama. Tapi panel yang ni tak kedekut. Dia bagi stok cukup punya. Kamis malam baru ni, pukul 9 mlm kitorang gerak pergi KL. Singgah BP isi minyak Macam biasa, beli keropok, 100 plus. Air mineral. Lepas sejam drive, hint ngadu sakit perut gila2. Berenti kat R&R. Entah pukul berapa hint tanya "eh surat nikah bawak kan?" Aku cakap ada, dalam purse. Kang tak pasal dengan gastrik2, kena tangkap basah pulak sebab berdua-duaan dalam kereta.

Jumaat. Breakfast wajib bila sampai Cheras, nasik lemak kerang. Seorang sebungkus. 11.30am gerak pergi rumah amal dekat kinrara. Hint rasa gastrik balik. Ubat lupa bawak pulak. Damn. Tanya amal, ubat gastric ada tak? Zellox je ada. Bagi hint makan, ok sikit tapi still sakit. Then aku hulur kek chiffon. Lepas makan 4 hiris, terus lega. Eh? Sumpah magic!

Malam, pergi dinner Nad kat Jalan Semarak. Food super sedap. Hint makan macam biasa. Malam tu time tido, gastric lagi. Makan ubat gastric semua tak lega. Pagi Sabtu, bawak pergi clinic kat Maluri, kena jab. Pun tak lega. Pukul 12 baru ok. Tapi selera makan dah takda. Terus turun 4kg. Petang jumpa baby kat Midvalley. He still refused to eat. Aku suruh jegak, dia nak claypot, tapi makan 1/4 ja. Pukul 8 sampai rumah terus baring dalam bilik. He hug me so tight. Tiba2 dia cakap "takut lepas ni tak boleh peluk awak lagi". Aku sepak terus kaki dia. Spontan. "Apesal cakap macam ni??"

Pukul 11.30mlm dia gerak lagi, "adik, sakit balik." Aku dah speechless, ubat makan pun tak jalan. Takkan nak kena jab lagi? Jab pun amik masa 4-5 jam baru ok, tu pun tak tahan lama, 3 jam lepas tu sakit balik. Aku terpikir steroid je. To ease the pain. Tapi mana nak cari? Sakit tau tengok dia pusing sana pusing sini. Kejap bangun, kejap jalan, kejap baring. Pukul 4.30, aku rasa ada tangan pegang belakang aku. Aku tanya "kenapa?" "Sakit lagi." Terus keluar cari 7e. Prescription semua tak jalan. Cari po chai. Lega sikit.

Ahad - pagi.

Pukul 9 gerak balik JB. Hint drive. 150km/j. Better dari 1st night masa kena gastric otw ke KL tu. Takleh drive langsung. Sampai Pagoh dalam pukul 11am. Beli honeydew. Luckily he wanted to eat. Tukar driver. Pukul 12 sampai JB. Hint cakap nak pergi clinic petang nanti.

Please take care of him Ya Allah. Risau sangat.

Velvet

2011-09-22T18:00:00.003+08:00

LIKES

1. The clinic is 1km away from the place I stay. Dekat gilos.

2. Nurses are friendly and tak kerek. Really feel at home.

3. My urine was crystal clear.

4. The toilet was so damn clean.

5. Hb is ok - 12
6. No long queue. Pukul 9.00am dah settle. Pheww~

DISLIKES

1. I totally hate the manual BP machine and weighing scale. Enough said. And I hate when they talked to me when checking my BP. You are not supposed to talk to us at that time, pls.

2. I dont mind if they prick/inject any part of my body for blood. But when they needed 10ml blood and they injected salah, rela pulak aku nak offer "takpe, cucuklah ye sampai jumpa salur darah yang betul". And for that, I got a bruise on my left hand. Sakit ok. =(

3. I know its the common check up tapi aku malu gila when strangers asked me to take off my bra and touch my boobs here and there. Sorry nurse, for not looking at your face when you talked to me. Saya malu sampai rasa macam nak cabut kepala.

10 weeks.
Semoga Allah permudahkan semuaNya. Amin...

Under a heart-shaped sky

2011-09-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

Reckitt Benckiser really gets on my nerves today. Masa launch the new gaviscon double action bukan main nak suruh slot in padahal dah takde slot dah. Lepas tu bagi training macam hape. Macam all the paperwork since July tak bermakna apa2. Benci! Enough said. Tadi baru call kenet, my younger brother who'll be sitting his SPM in 7 weeks. Suddenly he said :

Him : Sorry kak. Takleh jadi bibik hang lepas SPM.

Me : Pasepaaaaaaaaaaaa??? (He promised to stay with me in Johor after SPM)

Him : Cik dapat SPC. Bulan 2 tahun depan register.

Me : Ok benciiiiiiiiii. Hang tak reti nak apply benda lain ka? *after he mentioned the course*

This little boy of mine, is so fond of aircraft since he was a kid. Though i hate his choice, I have to admit he is the only one among us who really stick to what he wants. And he did it. Well i better let he choose what he wants sebab dia pernah bagitau aku. If he cant be in aviation line, dia nak jadi chef. Oh gila! Aku takut dia jadi pondan dan gay. Aku memang tau dia apply fast track. I thought it was some typical course. Tapi erk, boleh pulak dia apply yang ni? Asalkan hang bahagia la cik.

In other topic we talked :

Me : Oi, esok kakak pi KL.

Him : Buat apa pi sana?

Me : Tengok orang utan.

Him : Pasepa tengok orang utan kat KL, Johor takdak zoo ka?

Me : Sebab orang utan tu ada kat KL ja, kat uia.

Him : Hahahahah, bengong.

Will be leaving JB for KL tomorrow night - to attend Nad's dinner reception on Friday. Meets taktop kat rumah amal Friday morning for makan gosip and being sakai (oh i miss the girls!). Hint already got his baju to wear but me is still looking for nak pakai baju apa ni. Jumpa baby on Sabtu. Kalau rajin pergi amik dia kat uia, kalau malas, suruh dia datang Midvalley sajos. Ahad balik la kot. Rindu nasik lemak sambal kerang yang sedap itu. Harap2 ada. In a short note, hint kena gastric balik semalam after few weeks of symptom free =( I hate the situation where he has to depend on medication to feel ok. Lacto 5 next month. Pheww~

STICKY NOTE #1

2011-09-20T22:33:00.000+08:00

I am happy. I am nervous. I am excited. I am scared.

Tomorrow is the day. Hope it will turns out well.

And the short notice of low battery is killing me.

Wouldn't you miss me like i do?

Hope you'll be less workaholic.

Soon.

Turning Point

2011-09-18T18:23:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Time to get back to daily routine. Laundry. Masak. Sental toilet bowl. Tonyoh microwave. Sapu carpet. Cuti lama sangat dari Jumaat makes me a great housewife. Thanks to no-more-toilet-hugging.

I wish for October to come faster. On my side, birthday is waiting. On his side, bonus is waiting. He keep asking me what I want for my birthday? I know he wants to buy me new hp but for me its not necessary. Takyah lah. I requested Seoul Garden yesterday, sebab boleh makan sampai lebam, but when I think back, makan Ice Jelly pun sedap. Ice Jelly! Ice Jelly!

I wish for January to come faster. I foresee there'll be increment to my current salary, and its the bonus month. And I'll turn 26. And I'm looking forward to spread my wings to KL, though I know I heart JB to death. For the no-toll-road, for the good food, for the nice place I'm staying.

Lay me down on a bed of roses

2011-09-16T13:29:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, we tend to plan this and that, we wanted to go here, to go there, we hope it will run smoothly but in the middle of the day, we forgot that it might be rain and inside the car - no umbrella. what would you do? Redah je atau patah balik? Most of it, aku redah je. I dont like umbrella. Literally and emotionally. I find it as rimas nye lah nak bawak. Kalau ada orang pegang pun, aku rasa susah sebab jalan nak kena terkedek2, laju sikit kena hujan. Lambat sikit tertinggal.So i prefer my way. No matter how many times they said "Hujan tu! Nanti demam!" Tapi tak semua benda kita boleh buat sesuka hati kita. We still have to look for people around us. Will they be ok if we do like this/like that? How would they feel? Sometimes I've really had enough. But looking at the dark side, I am actually yet still, havent learnt my lesson. Just like life haven't taught me better.

******

Bright side, I feel better these days. No more toilet hugging. No more rasa nak baring all day. Betul apa aku and amal pikir, psikologi je semua tu. Sama macam putus cinta. Tak lalu nak makan segala. Makan sikit rasa nak muntah. Tapi lepas tu bila lawan balik, boleh je lawan macam biasa. Hormonal changes. Maka dengan kekuatan aku melawan + put aside all sakit kepala, i managed to makan macam orang biasa. Please let me be this kuat Ya Allah. I have so many things to go through my days and again, please grant us a wealthy health! And please heal all the pains too. Promise I'll be better. =)

******

If I die young,
Bury me in satin,
Lay me down on a bed of roses...

Trigger

2011-09-11T19:55:00.000+08:00

Ni semua psikologi je. You can always have it like before. You can eat. You can cook. Beat it.

May these pictures trigger my appetite.

Kalaulah hint bukak blog aku tiap2 hari macam dia bukak tukar tiub =(

Ok nak pergi tapau nasik goreng daging masak merah sekarang.

Otak

2011-09-10T19:49:00.002+08:00

Pertama sekali di dunia, aku benci betul orang yang buat benda tak pikir, cakap tak pakai otak atau tak ada otak nak pikir panjang. Contohnya bangang2 yang ikut pergi Bersih 2.0 lepas tu pergi jerit "Reformasi" beramai2. Orang pakai baju kuning kau pakai baju kuning, suruh sebut setiap tuntutan Bersih tu, aku gerenti ada yang tak tau satu apa pun. Baik pergi balik gantung diri lagi bagus.

Kedua, walaupun korupsi merata2, walaupun jambatan permas tu lembap tak tau bila nak siap, walaupun big momma beli cincin USD24 juta, jauh di sudut hati aku bersyukur Malaysia adalah negara yang aman damai. Dan aku masih tertanya2 kalau pembangkang yang pimpin negara, kau tak rasa ke dorang pun tiba2 akan jadi gelap mata macam keadaan sedia ada? Boleh jamin keadaan akan sama? I wont put my life in risk. Banyak lagi benda yang aku nak capai dalam hidup. Bukan jadi bongok dengan pilih Mat Sarbat sebagai pemimpin. Kalau suruh Nik Aziz jadi PM, itu aku setuju. Setidak-tidaknya aku tau kalau dia demam, dia akan bagi timbalan dia jadi pemangku, bukan macam PM kau, ada timbalan , tapi bini jadi pemangku, dah kenapa? Correct me if i'm wrong, nama bini dia ada dalam senarai kabinet ke? Atau memang ada rules macam tu laki sakit, bini boleh ganti? I really want Tun Mahathir and Siti Hasmah balik. Sebab aku tak boleh tahan la tengok muka perempuan botox, fake sangat. Makanan lambat seminit, dah tak nak makan. Wahhhh, tengok nanti, dalam kubur kau boleh berlagak tak.

Sebenarnya dalam hidup, kita kena pikir both pros and cons. Adalah lebih bagus kalau kau pikir pakai otak sebelum cakap. Contohnya bila salah seorang kawan aku post status ni kat facebook. She's 4 months pregnant, and normal la kot bila dah pregnant kau akan terpikir nama apa nak bagi kat anak kau. Alah, korang dulu pun, time2 tengah bercinta pun takkan tak pernah pilih2 nama untuk bakal anak padahal tunang pun belum, kan? kan? Ok now, see the 1st respond.

Wahhh, kau ingat lepas beranak baru nak cari nama tu sempat? Mana dengan tak larat lagi, nak bf lagi, tambah2 1st baby. Lepas tu adakah bermaksud kalau anak yang lahir tu bermuka garang, nak kena letak nama yang sesuai dengan wajah seperti "CAHAYA MENYERINGAI" ? Kita pilih nama sebab nama tu jugak doa, supaya nanti orang panggil anak kita, maksudnya baik2, regardless la sesuai ke tak dengan wajah. Janji maksud tu bagus. So sebelum kau nak komen konon-konon macam berpengalaman dan penuh berpengetahuan, pikir panjang sikit boleh? Takkan Prof Zainal Kling dah jadi idola dalam sekelip mata kot?

Wahai budak2 sekolah, kesian korang jadi mangsa keadaan. Entah macam mana nak timbul semangat nasionalisme dalam diri kalau sejarah negara sendiri pun kucar kacir sana sini. Dah 54 tahun merdeka pun tak reti-reti. Bawah naungan kau kata? OOOEMMMGEEEE~

LAKSA

2011-09-05T20:47:00.003+08:00

Semalam, lepas aku makan megi, tak lama lepas tu aku lapar lagi. Oh damn. Tapi pun tak tau nak makan apa. Aku pun texted hint. Aku cakap, aku hargai sangat kalau dia sudi bawak aku makan semangkuk laksa bila dia balik kerja. Amik kau semangkuk laksa, drama tak? Hihi. Pastu dia reply, "ok, malam ni saya bawak gi taman u". Kenapa taman u? Sila klik gambar di bawah tahun 2009. Aku curi kat blog hint. Lama gila entri ni. 2 1/2 tahun yang lepas.

Pukul 8, gerak dari rumah. 8.30 sampai Taman U. Only tu find out dia dah tutupppppppp. Bukan tutup sebab malam, tapi memang takkan bukak sampai bila2 dah. Laksa dia kalah Laksa Shack ok. Pon boleh tutup?T_T Lepas tu hint ajak aku makan kat Secret Recipe. Aku cakap kalau ada laksa aku nak. Sekali yang ada laksa singapore dgn sarawak. Tamauuuuu. Aku nak laksa penang. Pastu gi Sedap Corner. Pon takde. Sushi King nak? Taknak. Roti nan cheese kat Jalal nak? Pon taknak. Tau2 dah pukul 9.15. Old town pon dah tutup kot. Mana tu masing2 takleh nak pikir Laksa Shack kat mana. Aku tau kat JB ada. Last2 dia tanya Sotong Kangkung nak? Ok boleh terima. Kita gi dataran JB. Aku tanya, "Ah Yong malam2 bukak?" "Bukak kot". "Kita pegi Ah Yong la. Nak makan Ice Jelly". Permas - Taman U- JB. Aku pun tak tau cana dia leh bersabar dengan aku. Mekasih awokkkk~

Gambar amik kat google tapi mmg Ah Yong (Cina Muallaf) punya. Dalam banyak2 tempat kat sini jugak paling sedap. RM 4.40 - sedapppp tak tau nak habaq.

Sotong kangkung. Bolehla tahan. Tapi sedap lagi dekat Rawa takpun dekan Restoran Selasih kat Persada.

Pastu makan kerang rebus. Gua memang hantu seafood, sebab tu rasa bersyukur gila sebab takde allergic. Kerang biasa2 je. Rasanya yang kerang bakar kat Terengganu lagi sedap. Ok fine, kerang rebus dengan kerang bakar bukan 2 benda yang sama.

Pastu hint order nasik goreng ikan masin. Last time masa datang sini dia order nasik goreng seafood. Bagi aku sedapppp gila. Tapi dia cakap biasa2 ja. Haaaa? Aku yang tak lalu nak makan nasik ni pon rasa macam nak habiskan nasik dia. Tapi ai malu2 nak melahap nasik dia tak tau la sebab apa. Pondan kan? Tsk~

Ok, tiba2 rasa lapar. Kalau dapat makan nasik goreng seafood dekat tepi The Zon pun sedap ni. Dengan ini aku berdoa, agar terbukak la pintu hati hint nak baca blog bini dia yang dah lama tak update ni. Yelah, nak mintak depan2 malu. Banyak songeh kau ni she. Tu nak ni nak. Tapi memang sebelum kawen pun dah macam ni ape? Heh~

ROTIBOY

2011-09-04T13:15:00.004+08:00

1st time aku rasa susah gila nak cari mood untuk blogging. Kalau tak tu main belasahhh je type la apa pun. Previously aku focus gila on this particular blog, rasa macam ooooo syoknyaaaaa type blog kat siniiiiii lepas tu bila aku baca balik, gila rasa nak muntah. Blog tu konon2 blog lepas kawen. Erkkkk. Mellow gila. Sumpah geli. Lalu aku rasa baik aku tutup saja blog tu. Nak simpan untuk bacaan sendiri pun aku rasa tak lalu. Lalu akhirnya aku pun bertekad untuk back to this blog. Entri2 lepas semua aku dah masuk draft. Start a new. Tak tau berapa kali start a new dah, tapi aku suka nak buat cemana lah kan? So what brings me back?

Awal2 takde feeling pun sebab tu aku tak sedar apa. Dekat2 nak raya, petanda2 semua keluar. Memang tak tahan. Tapi pun aku tahan jugak taknak bukak puasa sebab jakun nak puasa penuh. Pastu penuh la puasa aku. Perasaan bangga tak tinggal puasa tu Tuhan je yang tau. Kau hado? Laki aku pun tinggal 2 hari sebab gastric. Haha. Di saat2 sekarang ni dia punya petanda tu memang hebat gila. Semalam punya tak tahan sampai aku nangis. Nangis sbb sakit kepala sampai lebam pastu tak lalu makan. Nasik lagi la. Selaku juara membelasah apa-sahaja-makanan-depan-mata, bila hilang nikmat makan tu rasa sedih gila. Sampai aku tak tau nak makan apa. Aku cuma terpikir laksa. laksa. laksa.

Bangun pagi tadi aku teringat haritu balik bukak puasa kat Kedah, sedap gila mama masak siap dengan pucuk gajus semua ada. Sambal udang besar gedabak, pajeri nenas, dengan benda apa lagi tah dia masak. Aku rasa dia masak sardin pun sedap.Pastu datang la idea jom balik Kedah aaa. Rasa macam nak amik cuti sebulan. Duduk rumah dan makan. Mesti kalau aku cakap nak makan apa semua mak aku masak. Aku rasa kalau mama baca blog ni pun mesti dia sedih kot tengok anak dia kebulur tak tau nak makan apa kat sini. At last, aku end up makan megi. Megi pun megi la janji boleh telan.

Sickness

2011-09-01T16:21:00.000+08:00

Sampai je Mersing around 7 am, rasa mual datang mencurah2. Aircond semua tutup, bukak tingkap. Sampai je rumah dalam pukul 8.30, terus bentang comforter depan tv dan baring. Tiba2 hint panaskan nasik dagang pulak, perghhhh takleh nak bau langsung. Padahal semalam relax je makan. Pukul 10.30 drove to taman U, masuk kerja pukul 11. Sampai je, terus pergi 7e, beli maggi tomyam in cup pastu makan. Lepas tu tiba2 rasa nak makan buah. Jalan pulak pergi Jusco depan tu. Beli jambu batu, jambu air dengan mangga letak asam. Sedap gilos~. Lepas tu budak2 ni pesan cool blog and mine was my all time fav - Volcano Milk Tea. Lepas tu singgah MPH beli ni.

At 6, sakit kepala datang balik. Dah la nak balik ni... Sampai je rumah terus pergi tapau nasik goreng daging masak merah yang sedap itu. Makan sampai lebam. At 10pm, hint pun sampai bawak balik ice cream Magnum. Ada 3 batang dalam sekotak tu. Dia makan 2, aku makan satu. Sedap gilos~

Another day to work tomorrow, lepas tu Sabtu halfday. Then Ahad cuti. Penatnya la haaa kerja. =(

Selamat Hari Raya!

2011-08-30T16:20:00.000+08:00

Bangun je pagi ni, terus cari toilet dan muntah. I force to muntah sebab tu je cara nak rasa lega from nausea dan perut sebu. Dah tu, sapa suruh semalam makan kerang sampai licin tak ingat dunia?? (ha ah, aku makan sampai habis lepas tu pergi dekat hint "Abang, adik habiskan kerang") Dia gelak je sebab yelah konon kan perut sebu la hape la. Turun gosok baju raya, mama and ayah ajak makan dulu tapi tak lalu la plak, plus nak spare perut yang makin tak mesra terima makanan ni. I am so lucky this year to beraya with all my adik ipaq. Did I told you malam sebelum raya kitorang testing tudung macam hape and the next morning lepas dah lepas pakai baju kat atas, turun masuk bilik hanan, for make up and lilit tudung session. Siap!

Mintak maaf banyak2. Banyak dosa ni. Huhu~

Hint punya baju turned out to be peach instead of pink. Adoiiii~

The whole family without Kak Wa & Amrul.

Raya at Kelantan adalah sangat berbeza with Kedah and KL especially the food. Culture shock la jugak. Ketupat and rendang seems to be not the main dish of the day. And there was no pulut dakap at all. My tank is full with nasik dagang for both 1st and 2nd day of raya. Still I missed Kedah somehow =(

Last day fasting!

2011-08-29T16:19:00.001+08:00

Sorry darlings for long silence. Last 2 days on 27/8 me and your dad drove back to Kota Bharu from JB at 3pm. We stucked at Kota Tinggi because of roadblock and safely arrived in KB at 2.30 am. I had a bad nausea but force myself to not vomit sebab sayangkan puasa =). On our 1st day here (Sunday) we went to bandar KB to look for my baju kurung, and tell you, it was so tiring. We bought your dad's Baju Melayu first. This year theme colour is Pink. And at last, we found my baju kurung at Wakaf Che Yeh, 2 pairs for RM100. Nak nangis sero. Hihi. Hint seems to buy everything I want. Cakap cantik sikit mesti tanya, nak tak? Kalau ikut ni semua nakkkk.. Heh.. We bought a pair for Aunty Hanan too.

And as of today, we went out at 10.30am to look for my tudung. And we found nice one at Bazar tok guru for RM10 each. And talking bout you, your dad spilled the beans yesterday to Aunty Su (we might want to call her Moksu Thighoh at the 1st place but she refused...Hihi). Huahua. She was surprised sampai nak demam like haaaa??? Ok, she's hint's younger sister aged 12. Then the news spread. And all over the house knew that you are here for 7 weeks tomorrow. As for today, rasa sekok perut la sangat. Nausea all the time. Alhamdulillah I managed to tahan muntah and my puasa is full this month! Sukaaaaaa gilaaaaaa.

For bukak puasa today, your grandma was so nice she cooked nasik kerabu for berbuka.. Super sedappp! Hilang segala rasa nak makan.. Huahua. And there was kerang also - my all time fav. Over the bukak puasa, all of them are talking about their name for you to call. And being me, I was so shyyyy like alamak, malunya,. mana nak letak muka ni... Hihi. I am yet to update your 6 weeks progress but maybe later. Sebab Mummy Ya (Aunty Maya wants you to call her this name) asked me to go makan kerang again. Super delicious! Be good darlings, you are 7 weeks tomorrow and tomorrow we'll celebrating Aidilfitri. Selamat hari raya sayang =)

Symptoms

2011-08-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the common early pregnancy symptoms i found on internet.
1) Delay of Menstruation
2) Nausea and Vomiting
3) Tender and Swollen Breasts
4) Feeling exausted and sleepy
5) Backaches
6) Headaches
7) Cravings
8) Darkening areola
9) Frequent Urination

What I haven't feel (yet)

I dont have frequent urination as I already train myself to weewee every 4 hours. Sebab sebelum ni memang selalu kena UTI. I dont feel exausted sebab your mummy memang malas buat kerja, hihi and sleeping is my favourite. I dont feel backaches and headaches as I memang amik calcium that have magnisium inside , everyday. And I am not craving (yet). BUT, I started to reject my self-cooked meal especially nasik. Yesterday we went out and eat McD. You know, if i took nasik, I can go for 5 to 6 suap only, but yesterday I managed to eat my whole set of Spicy McChicken (my all time fav!) and hint's fries. Also 1 1/2 large-sized Coke Light (Coke light is 0 sugar with 0 calori - and it has been our fave since we knew that). So today I planned to have Spagetti for bukak puasa and already pesan to Hint to buy me Cococrunch for my sahur.

What I feel?

Delay of menstruation is a must and breast tenderness second that. My areolas are not that dark but its getting bigger to which cause to menjerit once I saw it after my Subuh prayer. Bongok I know. Hihi. I came to check because I could feel my nipples are pain. Entering 6 weeks,I do experience constipation. Totally irritating sebab perut rasa tak selesa. I know I can take lactulus but being me, I hate medicine and as long as I can put them aside, I will. One more thing I cant see a snake even in a picture, rasa macam horror sangat lagi dahsyat dari nampak hantu. Seriously!

Yesterday after bukak puasa at CS and jalan2, we went to Segget. With so many people plus bau macam-macam, I started to feel dizzy and asked hint to go home. As I went inside the car, i felt nausea but no vomiting sebab I tahan to not to. All the way home I tido je. Hint wanted to take me to kedai tomyam yang sedap gila yang dia selalu tapaukan bila I sakit kepala tapi jalan adalah sangat jammed, so I said kita balik rumah jelah, I cant stand it anymore, I just want to lay down and sleep. But he stopped at kedai makan dekat rumah (and I stayed in the car and tido). Sumpah rasa loser gila.When we reached home, I ate the tomyam, sedap tapi memang tak boleh lawan the one he bought before. Lega sikit. When I want to sleep, I smelled something busuk and guess what was it? Myself with escada fragrance around it. Amek kau escada.. Then I took your dad's Aqva, sprayed all over the bed area, then only I can sleep. Ok I know this is the 1st trimester challenge, hope I can handle it. You be good inside there k velvet? =)

Jigsaw

2011-08-19T16:17:00.000+08:00

Its 14th August and its 5th day from the day my period is due..So this afternoon before i went home from work at 1.30 pm, I bought a pregnancy test with my pharmacy's brand. Masa tu rasa nak terkencing tapi i hesitate to simpan my urine until i reached home which is 40 minutes later. Sebab tu 2nd urine and I takut this thing tak boleh detect kalau I used it for 3rd time. Eh? Kata nak try kalau Isnin masih boleh solat Subuh? Hihi, ampun la.. Tak sabar..Lepas tu, pukul 2.30 pm, start urinate, benda alah tu dah la warna putih, so tak tau mana satu window test, mana satu window control. When the maroon colour passed through the 1st window, i could a line, tapi faded..kabur..same thing goes to the 2nd window.. i was like, eh? Biar betul?

Ya Allah, alhamdulillah.. Rasa tak percaya and eagerly I wanted to know how old is my baby inside. Then I rushed back to Permas, met Julie and Izan, dengan rasa malunya I bought Clear Blue..Lepas tu siap sempat pesan dengan dorang "jangan ckp sapa2 tau. I malu...." Lepas tu terus balik rumah. Dari pukul 2.30 tu, asyik tanya "eiiii bila rasa nak terkencing lagi niiii". Jeng! Pukul 4.30! Terus pergi toilet, and took clearblue..

Based on 1st experience Clearblue ni lembap sikit nak detect. Mungkin sebab dia detail. And after almost 3 minutes (1st test tadi xsampai 1 minit pun), terus airmata mengalir. I didnt expect to get pregnant this early, basically I'm not yet ready. The result showed that I am 3 weeks pregnant (+ 2weeks of ovulation maksudnya 5 minggu dah). Ya Allah rupanya selama ni yang balik Kelantan, balik Kedah dah pregnant dah..

1st box

2nd box

1st test

2nd test

Alhamdulillah. Nampaknye all vacation kena beku lah yer. Setahun la tak nampak pulau pasni. Thanx Allah! =)

4th day

2011-08-13T16:16:00.000+08:00

Ok, today is August 13th and its annoying sebab tak period lagi. I tried to calculate butttt i cant remember the date, siot btol la kan. Kenapa wahai menses lepas aku dah kawen kau berlari-lari anak. Nak kata hormonal changes, rasanya sebelum kawen lagi stress kot prepare tu ini. Why now, whyyyy???? Ok I know it'll be easy if I go and check, tapi tahukah kau aku malu ok nak pergi beli upt sebab tu aku lagi rela beli kat farmasi. dapat murah is another thing. Lagi satu dalam serabut kepala nak tahu kenapa tak period-period lagi pun, aku jugak risau takut keciwa macam bulan2 lepas. Aku tak mengharap pun, tapi when my period delayed, I seem clueless. Pregnant ke? Rasa mcm tak date on that ovulation date pun. Tapi bila delay2 camni, I expect I am pregnant, by right patutnya kalau -ve masa test, should be ok la kan. Tapi tak tau la kenapa hati pompuan ni, even tau tak ready, bila -ve, rasa kuciwa jugak. Adoiii.

And I these while I keep this feeling "100% rasa mcm pregnant" with me sebab aku tak rasa there'll be someone who understands my feelings. Not even hint. And at these time I dont need advice like "takyah mengharap sangat", "relax2 je dulu" especially from those who are not yet married. I have to say, life before and after married are totally different. Hubungan yang halal tu yang membezakan semuanya. Dari sakit hati cakap dengan orang2 camni, baik aku simpan sorang2. Nanti dorang ingat aku berharap gila padahal aku biasa2 ja cuma aku curious kenapa belum period. Hahaha ok this is also the idea kenapa aku tukar link blog. I dont like people who judge me by my entries. Those who are pretend they know nothing tapi secara halus bomb balik aku berdasarkan apa yang dorang baca kat blog.

Seriously this curiosity bukan sahaja buat aku sakit kepala tapi aku rasa jantung aku pun sakit jugak. Ni kalau check pressure confirm tinggi. Haihhh. I'm working tomorrow from 9.30am - 1.30pm in Taman U. I'll buy the upt and if i stillll boleh sembahyang until Subuh 15th, then i'll do my test. As for now, I better go to bed or else my sakit kepala become worst. I agreed with hint to kemas rumah today but I hadn't. How to tell hint I cant do anything until I figure out?

p/s : I've edited this entry sebab since this is my private blog, aku bercakap untuk diri sendiri dan tulis pun ikut suka apa yg aku faham, tapi ada orang misunderstood (T_T). Hope everything is clear after this. Tamo la salah faham camni.. Benda takde pa2 pun boleh jadi apa2.. =(

Riddles

2011-08-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

I hate it when my menses making fool of me. Jahat ok. My first menses after married delayed for 8 days (9/6) to which made me think of "am i pregnant?". Though when I counted back my ovulation date and yada yada, i know i wont get pregnant. Believe in the fact that my menses was always there when it supposed to come out. On the exact date, plus minus 1 day, though calculation already had it says, i still believe on the magic of my menses suddenly came out late. There I bought my 1st pregnancy kit. The expensive one cost me RM22 with staff purchase (rsp RM30), only to find out it says "Not Pregnant".

Same goes to my 2nd menses the following month. I was expecting it to come out at 9/7. To which i also did my calculation and due to my math, with Allah will, I am supposed to get pregnant. So I bought my 2nd pregnancy test cost RM6 (staff purchase) -rsp RM10. together with libresse. I said to my collegues, we'll see which one I'll use. So I told hint, if its monday that I hadnt period, then Im going to test, but being an eager me, on the 9th morning itself, I made a test. Yes still negative. And there my menses showed her face on 10/7. Haihhh..

Now is my 3rd menses supposed to be out. Ok, lets make it either on 9th or 10th. I've been waiting for it to come out but until today, the 11th. I still can puasa. Since I dont put any hope this time, I dont do my calculation because I cant remember the date i dated him. And now the thought of "am i pregnant?" comes to mind ever again. Adoi. I should have a test in the first place tapi gua malas mahu keciwa lagi. Ok, this time I promised, If I still can fasting on Sunday, I'll do the test on Monday. And the my heart will continue shaking until i know the result. Sebelum ni relax je period awal ke lambat, but now when everytime it comes to menses date, terus aku jadi berdebar gila.

Yesterday I told hint "Abg, patut harini adik dah tak boleh puasa ni. Cemana eh?" Hint said "Kalau lekat takpelah.." Hamboi senangnya cakap. Gua lagi debar niiiii. Sobs. My visit to Kedah last week also buat aku rasa terpana sikit. Mama asked "dah ada isi belom?". While we went to Pacific, looking around Adidas area, Abah went to kids shoes area and started to lift up one. Then I said "Adik ingat mahal kasut budak dia, rm99 ja?" Then Abah replied "Abah ni takdak cucu ja lagi ni, tunggu ada cucu satgi abah beli teruih hat ni.."

Right after that, baby told me, everytime mama and abah passed through kids dress, they would have a glance and randomly said "Nak beli pun cucu takdak lagi.." Oh my, are they expecting a grandchild? Spontaneuously hint said to Abah "Tahun depan boleh kot Abah..". Ya Allah baby darling, if you happen to read this someday, you must know that everybody is expecting you. And me, become so nervous to play riddles "are you here? are you not?" Take care darlings, enjoy yourself up there. And there will be time where mummy will hug and kiss you someday. =)

Hint

2011-08-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

Being married, today is the 1st day aku bukak puasa without hint. Masuk je kereta, sementara nak panaskan enjin, i gave hint a call, just to find out "Adik, saya tak balik bukak puasa boleh? Encik Abu (his manager) sorang je kerja petang harini, tadi dia tanya, bukak puasa mana, tak sampai hati pulak cakap balik rumah.."

Habis tu si isteri ni tak kesian la pulak bukak sorang2? Then he said, no need to cook la today sebab aku bukak puasa sorang, beli jelah. But then I said, I still have to cook for sahur tomorrow, so no difference. Actually tadi masa kerja, my director invites me for bukak puasa at Grand Paragon hotel tomorrow. Imagine of hotel's food + we'll be joining marketing department + it's together with kak mimi farewell, I really2 wanted to go. But I told them I couldnt make it. If only hint knew that I cancelled to dine there because of him..Because tomorrow he's off, and I cant take it if aku makan sedap2 kat hotel dia tapau je bukak puasa sorang2. Takpelah she, tempat seorang isteri kan di sisi suami..

Instead of makan dengan lazat masa berbuka, it was in the middle of the night lepas puasa kedua, suddenly hint woke me up telling that dia sakit perut. Knowing him for 7 years, dia cuma akan sakit perut tengah malam, kalau malam sebelum tidur tu dia makan roti. Dont asked me why roti? Aku pun tak tau. Tengah2 malam buta, dengan mengantuk, all I can think of was Perskindol. Dengan mata separuh terbukak aku masuk la bilik, ambik perskindol, spray kat perut dia. Lepas tu after few hours he woke me up again, kaki pulak cramps. To have sudden pain in the middle of the night are not a good sign. Then we woke up for sahur.

Still he felt the pain, dekat perut. Hint asked for painkillers as he couldnt stand the pain tapi being me, i dont believe in painkillers, they just relieve your pain, not curing it. So i asked, rasa keras tak perut? Dada rasa sesak tak? He said yes. So i said- Gastric, flatulence, indigestion. He said bukan gastric la. I said yes, then terus amik histac suruh dia makan sebijik. Ok this is the 2nd time aku diagnosed hint. 1st time when he was having urticaria. And to be frank, aku tak pernah dispensed histac to patients tapi yang ni mmg yakin. And guess what? Less than 5 minutes, the pain was gone.

1 thing I worried, benda ni happened masa tengah tidur je. And it continues for 5 days. I told hint to go and see doctor. As of today, dah 2 hari symptom free, mungkin tak perlu la kot. But if it happens again, mesti kena jumpa jugak. I felt so worried when he's ill. I dont want him to go. When I went back KB last week, to see mama rushed here and there go visit ayah at hosp, i wonder how can she be so tough? Especially when you loves one is facing a 50-50 condition. Thank Allah ayah is far away from any complication. If I were in her shoes, confirm dah tak pergi kerja, duduk kat tepi katil hospital.

On our last night at Kedah few days ago, the last day hint felt the pain, I brought him down, gave him medication, and wait until he felt ok. And before we went back to sleep that night, hint hugged me and said, "sayangnya saya kat awak. terima kasih, banyak mlm dah awak bangun bila saya sakit.. nanti kalau saya tak ada, jaga diri baik2 neh..." Terus aku marah "Apa cakap macam ni?".

I know I am easy to feel sulky, mad. And I know I have a 24/7 of protection, comfort, love, hugs. but I am not ready to lose you..Kalau tak takde la aku kelam kabut pecut balik rumah lepas kerja semata-mata nak jumpa suami tercinta. Grant him a healthy life ya Allah. Free my husband from any pain and illness. Amin..

Massive

2011-07-25T16:12:00.000+08:00

We are off today. Instead of going out, we choose to stay at home. Bangun lambat, breakfast pukul 12.30 tengah hari dan bermalas-malasan. Rasa macam panjang sangat masa sampai tak tau nak buat apa. Another 3 days, and we're 2 months married! Cepat gila kan? So progress so far?

My expertise :
1) Sushi
2) Sirap bandung
3) Nasi Ayam
4) Nasi Lemak
5) Char kueytiaw

Ini adalah berdasarkan sekali masuk mulut dia, terus dapat respond "sedapnyaaa!" dan peristiwa itu berulang setiap kali makanan tersebut masuk ke mulutnya. Maka kita boleh classified sebagai my expertise. Hihi.

The next best thing, hint and I had the best discussion so far. We are going to have a massive project paling early 2012. Not a baby making project ye sayang2. Ya Allah I'm so excited as one of it is my favourite, and the other one is hint's favourite tapi aku yang kena make do to make it happen. Takpelah, laki I punye pasal. Semoga Tuhan permudahkan urusan aku dengan Hint, insyaAllah~

Pre-eclampsia

2011-07-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

The one I afraid most finally happened. Not to me, but to someone else, Kak Nasrah's friend. She is 7 months pregnant, but the baby is weak and didnt grow. So the doctor decided to take the baby out and stabilized her. Now she's in the OT, 50-50. Subhanallah. She has high blood pressure during pregnancy. Ok i've seen few patients came in to buy blood pressure medication and they were pregnant, but i never thought it is this serious. Forget about the baby, he/she were meant to stay beside God. But, we really need to save the mother here. How if the situation goes like this?

"huhu..same goes to my friend's friend. dia dah syahid pun. tp masalah dia blood rhesus dia. dia bleeding byk sgt masa nak bersalin n masa Dr kat private tu nak masukkan darah, the body rejected the blood. baby dia selamat bersalin, tp after 3 days pun dia ikut mama dia sbb baby byk sedut air ketuban n pihak hosp mcm tak sedut habis. huhu..sgt sedih ='( . hopefully kawan kecik baik2 saja, hana doakan ya..pre-eclampsia mmg byk effect to pregnancy. "

Pre-eclampsia is a symptom of having high blood pressure during pregnancy. The figure goes like this (luckily this is what I worked on for the past 1 and 1/2 months). Promised to get this figure in mind now.

Low BP : < 90/60 mmHg

Optimal BP : 91/61 mmHg - 119/79 mmHg

Pre-Hypertension : 120/80 mmHg - 139/89 mmHg

Hypertension : >140/90 mmHg

Severe Hypertension : > 160/90 mmHg

I dont know how high is the person's BP. So far mine falls on 98/82 (and it goes up to 101/78) after taking the smelly Omega 3. Oh my, this situation makes me think twice should I or should I not. I'm afraid. I'm not ready to leave Hint. Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan kawan Kak Nasrah and all mothers in this world, and me in the future. Give us a healthy baby, and pls Allah, make us away from pregnancy or delivery complication. Amin..

Melting

2011-07-21T16:11:00.000+08:00

Hint was off yesterday so he sent me to work. Before we left the house, i cooked him nasik ayam for his lunch. Nanti kesian pulak laki aku duduk rumah takde nasik nak makan. I wonder why everybody selalu terperanjat when they asked "do you cook?" followed by "sempat ke she?"(typical question to a married girl) if i my answer is yes. Yes bunnies, i cook for my husband almost everyday. If both of us are working on morning shift (I have no more shift working days, btw), normally i'll just prepare the breakfast, and cook dinner later when i go home. Or if i am working in normal office hours but hint works in afternoon shift, i'll cook lunch for him before i go to work. Soalan sempat ke tak is not applicable sebab normally aku memang tak tidur after subuh, so lepas solat terus ke dapurlah. At that time, hint will take his shower and i take mine after finish cooking. Then we'll sit together for breakfast. As simple as that.

Yesterday, while i was busy doing my work, hint texted me with one single word "SEDAP!!!" And soon as i reached home at 6.30pm, he already ate 3/4 of the nasik i cooked to which made me so terharu. *i should snap the pictures and put it here* Adakah aku masak begitu sedap? *blushing* Fyi, i cooked nasik 3 pot yesterday (for the sake of only 2 of us stay here). Ok now i take the responsibility why his tummy become so boooolat lately.

Oh well, gaji is next wednesday and i really cant wait, because i'll drag hint to the new opening tesco to buy some groceries. We've been there last saturday, with the new environment, i would definitely switched from Giant to Tesco. Besides, its in KSL ok! There's another new shopping complex opening (still under construction) named "SouthKey", really closed to our house. One of the next reason, why staying in Permas adalah sangat best.

So till then bunnies, i've got to list down what i wanted to buy and this has become the best part in my journey as a wife. Have i told you i love the part we put everything inside the trolley and upon paying the goods, the cashier will looked like "ni dah kawen ke tak kawen lagi tapi duduk serumah?" Hihi. At this point, you can blame my school-looked face to pay the curiousity. =P

Oh my, melts my heart when 1st see this picture. This hotmum and daughter look reaaaaaally good together!! So i guess he made a wise choice to marry Katie Holmes rather than Penelope Cruz.. =P

Cup of Love

2011-07-16T16:10:00.000+08:00

Hallu bunnies! Its Saturday and we're off! Felt really appreciated when Hint himself took an off day on weekend for the sake of we can cuti together and spend the splendid time. Ever since he got home yesterday he kept asking me, "nak pergi mana esok?" To which i had no idea. All i can think is to go makan benda sedap. But unfortunately all tempat benda makan yang sedap tu hikes up the price yang tak masuk akal. Like ice jelly at Pantai Lido punya medan selera tu went from rm2.80 to rm4.80 in a year. Hello, kau nak naik pon takkan la sampai 2 ringgit? And unagi bento yang sedap gila kat Hokka Hokka went from rm8.90 to rm16.90. Double up the price, lagi gila. Betul la standard harga dia camtu. Tapi out of sudden kau naik 2 kali ganda camtu, tak sentap pulak customer kau ni? I love food, tapi for some extend please be real, i understand kalau tempat tu well-known macam Sushi King ke ape, tapi ini kedai2 sedemikian, macam KL dah aku rasa. Tapi pun, when hint ajak aku to Tutti Frutti, until today aku pikir nak pergi ke tak. Hello rm18 for a small cup of ice cream, you choose the wrong person to ask. I've eaten Baskin Robbins, Haagen Dazs(hint beli haritu) and what not, aku rasa ice creams are all same, so tak payah la nak teruja tengok ice cream harga rm30++ sedap rasa dia macam tu jugak.

Since we're off, Im thinking to clean up my house, cuci jamban ke hape (as if!), and goes out at maybe 3 or 4 pm in the evening. Cuti2 lepak kat rumah lagi best. Especially untuk orang bekerja yang start hari isnin dah tak sabar bila la nak weekend ni. Betul dive instructor aku cakap, masa jadi student, masa banyak tapi duit takde, tapi bila dah kerja, duit banyak masa pulak takde. Walaupun sedemikian, to have your own money is totally the best thing in the world. You can go to do botanical facial before your wedding (uhuk uhuk) or gunting rambut dekat saloon (uhuk uhuk). Ok sebenarnya aku dah tak larat nak gunting rambut dekat kedai picisan yang cost RM 15-RM20 tapi hasil sama macam aku gunting sendiri. So last 2 weeks i went to a A cut saloon in Taman U (suggested by my very lovely Indian friend), and i totally happy with the results. Dah la masa tu aku memang stress lepas kerja, nasib baik half day. Balik je pukul 1.30, terus pergi situ.

*pause* had breakfast with hint sekejap.

So where to go today? I aimed 3 places. We might first go to new opening Tesco in KSL city. A place i swear i wont go alone, sebab parking dia super curam, but not as bad as KB's parkson (still i missed those horror moments). KSL is a very nice place, even Valerie, my pharmacist who previously work in Caring pharmacy there pun cakap tempat tu best. Though i wonder what does KSL stands for. Kiong Saw Ling perhaps? Haaha.. 2nd we'll be going to Matta Fair, not to buy any vacation package, but to experience how does it look like. That's one of the thing why i love JB. It has everything but the living cost is not as high as KL and not that hectic. Next is my favourite place, Bukit Indah. I have no idea of what to hunt there, but the place is so comfy. By right, when i first stepped in JB in Disember 2008 (to meet this sweetheart of course), he brought me to Bukit Indah and tell me how lovely the place is just like the name. =)

Some more, Hint said his colleague invited him to celebrating his daughter's birthday today. Didnt i tell u how i missed to attend a family occasion? Yes, well. Thats what we have to face to work far from family. And that makes me to not stop counting when is the next school holiday. I'd forced Cik to come after his spm (budak ni kalau aku tak ajak pon memang dia offer diri, he loves JB as well, especially the food, ok i started to miss him already). Living together as husband and wife is great, but i prefer to have a bunch of family at home. Hanan always said wanna come here, tapi tak datang pun. Yesterday Hint texted me telling Hanan got an offer to further study in UMK. Last few days, she leave a message on my wall, saying she wanted something tapi pastu biar camtu je. Tiba2 teringat how she asked me to buy her flight tix from KB to KL after her convo. Lawak gile kot especially when she keep calling "kak sheeeee.. kak sheeeee". Having no little sisters, it gives me extra bonus why i should marry hint (well i did =P). I am fierce but i can be lovely at the same time. Just see how i pamper my little brother, i guess if i had a sister, we must be so close together. I've been wanting to have a pink partner since i was kid, and since i cant get a sister anymore, dear God, could u pls grant me a healthy baby daughter soon? I promise i'll be good and take a veryyyyyy good care of her.

Found this at google when i searched for "cup of love". Cute isnt it? =)

Saviour

2011-07-15T16:07:00.001+08:00

I really thank Allah for what i have. At the age of 25, my career is stable (have i told you i got promotion 2 times padahal kerja belum sampai setahun?), i own my car (my fav one when i was 20. rendahnya taste aku masa tu, haha, thanx to hint, mama and mil), and at this lovely 25, i am someone's wife and that person who become my husband is the one i love most and will always love him until the last rose fades.

Hint always asked me, "sayang saya tak?" With my cute face i'll say "sayanggggg". "Banyak mana?" "Banyakkkkkkkkkkkkkk sangat". With a peck on his cheek then. Well love, i guess this pic will help me to explain how much i love you. Walaupun kite selalu gaduh awak selalu tido tak bukak spec, tv tak off atau saya selimut sorang2 atau tidur jauh sebatu. =)

Seed

2011-07-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

ok lets go through the main reason this blog is created. 1st, i want to write out what i feel to write (not based on certain events like wedding) yet i just wanted to feel free, with nobody reading. Secondly, i purposely created this blog specially dedicated to my future kids to read. Lastly, its all about my life after marriage, so plz if you happen to bump into this link, ready to puke as i might right anything that is 99% related to husband and wife journey. so bunnies, it's 1st july now. 1 month married, so whats the progress?

The good thing is that, we (me and hint) managed to solat together everytime we get the chance to do so. Alhamdulillah =). Second, we fight less. Yes, VERY VERY VERY less. But.... obviously, i'm still adapting myself to cope with wife schedule. I am yet to train myself to be MOREEEEEE discipline. For this whole month, things are upside down be it laundry, kitchen, cooking, lipat kain and such. Kesian laki aku. Tu pun ada hati nak rumah baru ye she? But hey, being me, i always give myself a dateline, so i'm giving myself until end of July to make everything is ok, well-managed. Tuhan, tolong berikan hint kesabaran yang berlipat ganda . Please!

Ok now, hint always tease me about getting pregnant. Financially we are not that ready, plus we are still at our honeymoon state, but we dare not plan, nanti kau plan la macam2, 3-4 tahun tak dapat anak baru tau. I dont know how he feels either he wants it or not, but he did tell me that its next year that i'm going to deliver, which means, more or less, the fastest i'll conceive is end of this year, worst case is not more than march Because for us, 27 is too late to have a baby. And by the time i deliver, we are already stable financially, and have enough of parenthood studies.

But bunnies, i am not sure about myself. There's part in me, aku tak sabar nak ada baby cepat. Like if i conceive now, i'll be deliver next april, but another part of me says lets just stick to hint's suggestion. Apart from all these, there's a thing yang mengganggu jiwa aku. I am afraid. What if my baby is not normal? What if my baby have physical problem? The major thing is, what if i died after delivery? Nauzubillah... But that's the thing that keeps lingering in my mind. I always told me, Allah knows best she, Allah knows best. InsyaAllah... And as for that, i am waiting for my next menses. Sebab selagi aku tak tau aku pregnant ke tak, selagi tu hati aku tak senang. Walaupun hakikatnya, kalau aku tau aku tak pregnant, itu adalah sangat kecewa. -,-

taken few hours after akad nikah. =)

Ape kau dah buat ni sheeeeeeee

2011-06-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

ya Allah, guess what i did today? I locked hint inside the house, to which he couldn't go to work. as always, last week of the month and the next following week will be a super busy day for me. I have to say, this new department adalah terlalu sibuk dan a bit stress jugak. Suppose, hari khamis is my half day, from 9.30am to 1.30 pm only. But due to workload, after 2 pm baru settle all discussions. Handphone memang tak sentuh langsung. Sedar2 pukul 2 ada missed call dari hint. And 2 messages. I brought his house keys together with my key. Subhanallah, dah la dia masuk kerja pukul 2, i was in taman U, and to be home would take me 45 minutes. He scolded me on the phone, until i was frozed and didn't know what else to say. My fault. And it was the first time ever he scolded me lepas kawin with high pitching tone. Sentap sekejap. Silent. Then he slowly said, takpelah, tak payah rush balik. I was already in tears, how stupid i was. Dah la melibatkan pasal kerja. I felt so bad. I deserve to be scolded.

Few minutes later, he texted me :

"Saya mintak maaf, saya tak patut marah awak, sebab awak bukan sengaja. Cuma keadaan saya tadi sedikit tertekan. Rasa bersalah sebab harini stock take. Tapi awak tak payah la balik lagi. Setel urusan awak dulu eh.."

Knowing him, the last word "eh" showed that he'd calm down. He even apologized. Subhanallah, he really changed after married, he's way too nice. Right after all my work was done, i headed home and nangis all the way home. Did he really forgave me? How if i met with an accident and died, tak sempat nak balik rumah mintak maaf. I blamed distance for this. I hate the traffic, I just want to be home, i want to kiss his hand, i want to say sorry. As i reached home, opened the door, he greeted me with smile from the sofa he sat, there goes my tears. My very first word "Abg, sorry...." He nodded and asked me to come in. Ya Allah, you would never know how bad it is menyebabkan orang tak pergi kerja on a very important day, just because of your stupid mistake.

I stepped closer, bent down in front of him who was lying on the sofa, said sorry for thousand times and crying again and again. There he touched my head, and said, "takde apa2 la, bukan awak sengaja pun, dah2.." Other people mungkin dah masam muka 3-4 hari dah, but my one, he did not. So what else you want she? You have a husband who never get mad at you more than 10 minutes, never blame even on stupid mistake you did, and never fail to show you his love in whatever condition you are. I guess i'm lucky enough to have him. Terima kasih ya Allah.

this was on my 21st birthday back in october 2007 where he set up a surprise party in my oceanography lab with my lab besties. can you see all the test tubes near the cake? yes, he made me cut my cake there, luckily the cake was not contaminated (i guess) since no one was getting diarrhea. its a pink cake, then. =)

Mimpi Ngeri

2011-06-28T16:03:00.000+08:00

married to the guy you love, is the best thing in the world. alhamdulillah, i'm very lucky to experience this. ok lets talk about nightmares. my very 1st nightmare was last week i guess. i was alone in a room, and its blackout. so i sat with candle in front of me, tiba2 keluar muka dari banyak arah. kejap dari kanan kejap dari kiri, kejap dari depan kejap dari belakang. and it was totally muka tanpa badan. gila takut nak mampus. well bunnies you have to know that hint lovesss to sleep in front of tv. where at night we'll take a comforter to alas belakang (dulu siap angkut 3 singles bed, but since i wrapped them with bedsheet and put the comforter tightly, nobody dares to bring it in front =P.. oh yes, we got few sets of comforter as our wedding gifts), pillows dgn selimut,then we'll watch tv. sometimes, hint will watch tv while me, ehem2 surfing. normally we'll get up and go to sleep in the room but most of the time we ended up sleeping with the tv's on. =P

back to the nightmares, i felt so scared, like its so real, so i woke up, hint pulak mengadap belah lain. one thing i love about him is that he can responses at anytime i wake him up. so i said "abg, peluk adik". he became weird then i heard him asked "nangis ke?" i didnt remember my answer, but all i remembered was he hug me tight and asked me to follow him recites few doas. with my eyes closed, i followed every word from him. siap ada satu doa tu dia baca laju sangat, dalam pejam mata tu sempat lagi aku cakap, "pelanla sikit" hihi. then as i remembered i have a very nice sleep then, takde lagi gangguan setan.

well this guy, sometimes he can be so strict that i totally dislike =P, but at times, he can be so sweet. kadang2 the way he treats me, rasa macam budak2 sangat. wait until i tell you how he'll buy me chocolates, cornflakes, ice creams. and trust me baby, you'll feel really calm underneath his hands. and when he hugs you, you'll never want him to take his hands off. but as for now, all his hugs is mine.. =)

Krabi march, 2011.

Alhamdulillah

2011-06-26T16:01:00.001+08:00

After few series of being a buzy bee, i really miss to become a thumbelina again, write like nobody is reading. about my dream, my days, for my future kids to read. and yes bunnies, tomorrow is our 1st month anniversary. oh my, time really flies! happy anniversary love, though you are snoring when i'm writing this =)

oh yes, we havent got our copy of wedding pictures (yet).

dont you think i'm really an actress here? lol~

L.O.V.E

2010-10-11T21:21:00.011+08:00

tadi macam mana entah terjumpe sume budak2 ofis punya fesbuk. aku pun tengok la gambar2 yang bleh view. pastu, aku view gambar sendiri pulak. satu2 aku tengok. mula dari album paling awal aku upload. perasaan tengok gambar2 tu mendatar je. sampaila aku tengok gambar masa bukak puasa kat rumah kak ja. ada perasaan lain di situ walaupun gambar kat rumah kak fiza pun ada muka kak ja jugak. gambar pertama ok lagi. gambar kedua pun ok lagi. masuk gambar ketiga, rasa macam lain.

naja. tak tau kenapa, tapi bila tengok gambar ni rasa rindu sangat kat dia. pastu mula la aku tengok gambar mana2 yang ada muka dia. rindu tahap paling tinggi secara tiba2. rindu lepak sama2 masa kat terengganu. rindu makan kambing dengan dia. "murtabak kambing cicah kari kambing". rindu pergi karok. pergi gym padahal sekali je aku ikot. haha. rindu pergi beli seluar zebra dengan dia. semua2. she was once the one who bring sunshine into my life back. tak pernah terpikir pun akan terbekawan dengan dia, but it was such a good time i have with her. pastu dah rindu,rasa nak nangis. pastu nombor dia pulak takde sebab simcard rosak. nasib baik dia ada letak nombor henfon kat fesbuk. terus call dia. mula2 dia tanya "sape ni?" aku jawab "aku la she". terus dia pun "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." ok, i miss that shout. so much! rasa nak nangis tapi taknak, nanti macam pondan.

pastu kebetulan masa call tu kak ja pun ada sama. ya Allah, rindunyaaa.. pastu cakap dengan kak ja, lagi rasa nak nangis. kak ja cakap "kamu hilang macam tu je,tak jumpe pun kak ja.." terus tumpah airmata. i have to say kak linda is the greatest kakak yang Tuhan temukan, takkan ada pengganti dia, but kak ja is 2nd after her. i still remember the day i was so down, she was never there, tapi tiba2 dia hantar mesej. dia tak pernah lupa aku bila dia pergi makan. then i said takpe, she taknak pa2..astu dia balas,

"tak boleh tak makan sayang, nanti sakit. nak kak ja tapau apa2 tak? roti ke?" it might be nothing for others but it was something to me. sampai sekarang pun aku simpan mesej tu lagi. naja ajak turun kL,dia kata nanti dia belanja kambing. umpan yang sungguh menjerat. kak ja suruh cari kerja kat kL, nanti boleh kawan sama2. and suddenly i feel the urge to work in kL. to meet those casts who suddenly appear in my "eat.pray.love" life. ya Allah, rindunyaaaa....

Kan betul setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya, kalau aku tak jatuh, mesti aku tak jumpa dorang. Tuhan, terima kasih kerana temukan insan2 yang sangat indah dalam hidup saya, seperti mereka..